Ep. 59 - Battle At The Barracks

Tony: Hello, everybody. Welcome back to DND404. I am your DM Tony, and joining me today are the other three side characters in my anime. Fellas, let’s go and introduce yourselves, starting with the kawaii, “I didn’t mean to do that, Senpai,” Jared.

Jared: Armos, checking in. I’m a big fan of Attack On Titan, and Mikasa. She’s amazing.

Tony: Okay, okay.

Jared: She’s honestly the best character in the show. The main character is whatever. But yeah, she’s the whole reason I watch it. Dan, what do you got?

Dan: My turn next. I'm Dan. I play Minnis Pebblewalker, your tiny little swarmkeeper ranger of the Ivory Boulders. And there’s so many I could pick, but if we’re kinda going off of my character in this campaign, I feel like I am the Frankie of this podcast. That's One Piece, a mechanic character.

Alec: I thought you were gonna go with White Beard.

Dan: White Beard is great. I do like White Beard. I love Zoro, honestly. I’m just a huge Zorro fan. Maybe that's basic, but he’s just…

Alec: “I’ve got so many swords.”

Dan: “I’ve got three swords. Now they're hard swords.”

Alec: My name is Alec. I play Drell of the Ashborn. My side character is probably gonna be super basic. When I heard Attack On Titan, my heart skipped a bet fo a second, because you know, Levi Ackerman. Great character. One of my favorites. Close tie, Sasuke Uchiha. Gotta go with it.

Tony: Such weebs.

Dan: You're the one who came up with the theme.

Tony: I did, but Sasuke is such a…

Alec: But I would say, the person I relate the most to in any anime is Shikamaru, because he’s the most “I don’t give a fuck, I don’t really wanna do anything. I’d rather just go home and eat” - type person, and that's me.

Tony: Word. That's a champ. That's a great one right there. I don’t even know if you guys would know mine now, based on your choices. I feel like Dan might. You guys ever watch YuYu Hakusho?

Dan: No.

Tony: [gasps] You guys don’t know about Kuwabara?

Alec: I’ve heard that name, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it.

Tony: He’s the best. “He kinda talks like this, bro.”

Dan: I know the character.

Jared: You already told me why you like him already, because of that voice.

Tony: That is a great voice. But he delivers one of the best lines in any anime. And I’m not gonna spoil it, but he’s about to do some badass shit, and he goes, “A mulberry is a tree, and Kuwabara is a man.” Dumbest line I’ve ever heard, but it lives in me, it echoes in me every day.

Alec: And if you guys don’t know what any of these animes are, now you have three great ones to go watch.

Dan: And now, it’s time… Usually we’re great at transitions. Today is just not one of those days.

Jared: Tran-sition.

Dan: Something… Very new to the podcast. Something you may not have heard of before. That's right, we have a PO box. Go look at it down below. You can send us stuff. And by the way, someone sent us our first item. Jared, tell us about it.

Jared: Okay. So, here's the deal. I was supposed to get it today, but I’m getting ready for a vacation. So, work was really busy, and I forgot, and I’m gonna go get it tomorrow.

Tony: Cue the small violin noise.

Jared: But, we’re very excited to actually receive stuff from people, and we will cherish everything. We appreciate you. Love it.

Tony: So, as soon as Jared gets to the post office and picks it up, we’ll let you know what it is. Stoked. Can’t wait.

Dan: Obviously, we’re gonna talk about the things we receive on the show. We’re gonna talk about today, but you know how that happens. Now, Tony, if you could please roll our fate into this recap.

Tony: I just have to preface the roll with one quick thing. Don’t be mad, but something happened to the giant die that we use.

Jared: What?

Tony: So, it may mess with the roll.

Jared: Why?

Alec: It was eaten by a bunny.

Tony: That's exactly what happened. My child took it and fed it to my rabbits.

Dan: Oh my God.

Alec: My number is two, right?

Dan: Yes. Mine is three. I’m not changing it.

Alec: Okay, that's perfect, because now it has less amount, which means it’s a lighter side.

Tony: Drell is just completely eaten.

Jared: But if it’s a lighter side, that means it’s gonna go up more.

Alec: If it’s a two, I’ll let it slide this time. But if it keeps landing on two, I’m going with…

Jared: I feel like Dan went over there and did some- sprinkled some lettuce all up on it.

Tony: I’m gonna roll this giant foam d4, and whoever it lands on is gonna do the recap. 1 being me, 2 being Drell, 3 being Minnis, and 4 being Armos. Let’s go ahead and roll it on the couch of rolling.

Dan: Use a pillow this time.

Jared: I bet he doesn’t get it.

Tony: It’s on Armos!

Jared: My math was wrong. I was like, there’s no way. Last time, on DND404 Episode 59, Armos and Minnis found themselves to Sigic College, and found Artemis and Kemi Jo. After a quick talk with Kemi Jo, they found out that it has been seven months since they’ve last seen each other. Worried about Drell, Armos and Minnis head back to Raven’s Rest barracks. While this was happening, Drell was getting beaten within the jail, but across from his cell was Brandabaras, not looking so well. Drell makes a mimic friend and the two of them try to break out, but the guards stop them and kill his beloved mimic friend. Cut to Armos and Minnis trying to stealth back into the barracks. Once inside, rumbling, tumbling, glute-defying rat-dragon bursts from the ground. And on that note, hit it, Bard!

Tony: Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, and welcome to the world of Humbreah, featuring three first-time adventurers, and one very patient DM. This is DND 404. Bursting from the ground, there was a giant rat-like dragon. If a brass dragon and a jazz rat had a baby, this is what it would look like. A 50-foot tall rat dragon, with nose of brass, with angry saxophone notes coming from its brassy nostrils. We’re not gonna pick up today’s session in that moment. Drell, you find yourself standing in a void of darkness, alone and secluded. It feels like you're drowning out any type of background noise. You are in deep thought, trying to reach a memory from long ago. You open your eyes and you gaze into the dark void embracing you. You feel like you're having one of those dreams again, similar to one that you've had at the cabin, when you were reliving memories or visages. And as you open your eyes in this dark void, you appear as yourself. You set your sights on a pair of great big yellow and amber pupils and the shape of a dragon leering at you through the void, in a deep, hushed tone. “Well, look who’s back. Asking for my power, yet again. Drell of the Ashborn.”

Alec: “Uh… Have we met before?”

Tony: “Calmer than usual. Is my power becoming… Dull for you?” As he ends that sentence, cracks of lightning between a large jaw filled with teeth snap and crackle within its jawline. “You approached me different this time. It’s annoying.” As the lightning crackles between his teeth, fiery smog breathes out as he sighs in your direction.

Alec: “Yeah, uh… I’m not really great with names, so… What’s your name again?” And I just kinda don’t make eye contact with the eyes, and I just look left and right.”

Tony: A large dragon head reveals itself from the shadows. A blue dragon with a very specific and odd color pattern: dull blue scales, and beige spots scattered around his face. These beige spots around his face look scaleless, as if they were ripped from him. A large, rough scar etched across his left eye, starting at the top of its horns, connecting down to the crook of his mouth. The wound makes the dragon’s face uneven, creating an underbite on that side. With your rough knowledge of dragons, you know that this is a dragon that's lived for a very long time. You would instantly think that this is an ancient dragon. “Are you gonna sit here and tell me you don’t know Edgar, the dragon of your rage?!” And lighting cracks into the void. The quick lightning strikes and reveals a large wingspan in the darkness, as the lightning subsides and quickly goes back. His head is only feet away from you. “Time and time again, you ask for my power, for my rage to fuel you. And you ask Edgar the Unyielding. You forget who I am?!” And lightning strikes again as he grows increasingly frustrated. “I am the rage that fuels your strength. Without me, you would be dead. Without me, your friends would be dead.”

Alec: “Well, I mean, that first part might be true, but the second part is not really my fault. I mean, I’ve been eating nothing but vegetarian stuff for a week, and I haven't had a chance to shower.”

Tony: “Gross. Vegetables. Food of the weak.”

Alec: “See, that's what I said. I mean, that's what I’ve told Minnis numerous times.”

Tony: “No. Your stench is not that of sweat or glory.” His head turns. He doesn’t turn away from you, he looks off to the side, he’s staring at something. As you look over, you see a vision of what your physical body is doing. The vision, you feel like you're watching yourself in third person. And there, in the middle of the Red Dawn barracks courtyard, is this jazz rat dragon version of yourself. It looks like you've burst out of the ground, stomping around, and you are raging, blowing a mix of fire and lightning from your mouth, as these jazz notes erupt through your body. You're a mix of a brass dragon, red dragon, and a blue dragon all rolled up into one. This is a very unnatural thing. Dragons don’t typically mix like this.

Alec: “Hold on. You're trying to tell me that's me?”

Tony: He takes another whiff. “Ugh. It seems that your putrid rat lycanthropy, that curse you bear, that curse you fell to, has mingles with the dragon blood within your veins. Repulsive.” And he spits on the ground. “Tell me, Drell: are you here to ask for my power once again, because you're too weak to break free? Or do you want me to just go back to what I was doing, and you can sit her in the darkness?”

Alec: “I’ve always been there to help my friends. I don’t need your help. But if you wanna grant it to me, to assist, then it would be much appreciated.”

Tony: “Such is the curse I bear.” And he lunges forward and he snaps his dragon jaw into you, as he’s trying to swallow you whole. And you come through, and you are now in control of this dragon rat body, as you are snapping back into reality, as you are currently breathing fire, as there are all these Red Dawn guards nocking arrows and drawing swords. You overlook the walls around you, and you see that there are guards lining up, getting ready to shoot at you, and in the corner you see somebody turning and pointing a cannon at you, as bells begin to ring. We’re gonna go ahead and roll for initiative.

Dan: “[screams] Armos, look out!”

Alec: 13.

Dan: 19 for Minnis.

Jared: 4.

Tony: Alright, fellas. We are now in combat. You are in the courtyard of the barracks. There are people running around you. You see the Fallen trying to retreat back to tiny huts that are in the courtyard, running to the main gate. You see that there are currently six of these Red Dawn knights in the courtyard, and there are a bunch of dead ones at Drell’s feet, as he’s burned them alive. He’s already caused havoc from the initial eruption through the floor, where he came up on. Along the walls of the barracks, you see that there are a few knights getting things ready. On the furthest tower, southwest of you, there is a cannon being pointed inward, and there are two knights getting ready to shoot into the courtyard, looking at Drell. We’re gonna start with initiative 19. Minnis, with Armos next to you in his gaseous form, you see the chaos instantly ensue as you snuck in through the forge.

Dan: Oh, man… the first thing Minnis does, because he just needs to get some assistance here, I think, he’s gonna cast a spell. I’m just yelling, “Sid! Sid! Call in reinforcements!” And I cast summon beast at second level, to summon an ethereal hawk.

Tony: Sid goes [imitates noise], and the afterimage of an eagle flies from luminescent lights of holiness, and you now have a hawk bestial companion, as it lands on your shoulder.

Dan: So, that will always go after my initiative, so you don’t have to track it very far. And then, a question: for consumables, is it that all consumables are a bonus action?”

Tony: Potions specifically are a bonus action as per the homebrew rule. But depending on what you're trying to consume, within reason it’s a bonus action. Unless it’s like, “I wanna eat this giant steak.” That's gonna be an action.

Dan: Like, it’s that small little dragon pepper. I wanna eat a dragon pepper and see what it does.

Tony: So, you wanna eat the dragonfire pepper? Sure, absolutely. Go for it.

Dan: I can do that as a bonus action?

Tony: You can do that as a bonus action.

Dan: Hell yeah. Minnis goes to reach for one of his potions, and accidentally grabs a pepper. [imitates frantic noises] He chokes on it, but swallows it. I wanna see what happens when I eat this dragon pepper.

Tony: Yes, give me one second. First, what you're gonna do is roll me a constitution saving throw.

Dan: I’m really good at those.

Tony: Just need to beat a 10.

Dan: Got 11.

Tony: Nice. Okay, now you're gonna roll me a d6. Reroll 6.

Dan: I got a 1.

Tony: You got a 1? You can breathe fire. You get the dragon ability of fire breath.

Dan: Is it just like cone of fire? Just a 15-foot cone of fire?

Tony: It is a dragonborn’s cone of fire. So, you get this ability for one hour, and you can cast it at your current character level.

Jared: I wanna eat a pepper.

Tony: It is actually not a cone, it is a straight line. When you take an attack action on your turn, you replace one of your attacks with a magical breath weapon, and a 30-foot long, 5-foot wide, each creature in that area must make a dexterity saving throw of eight plus your constitution modifier, plus your proficiency bonus. On a failed save, that creature takes one d10 damage, on a success they take half. This pepper goes down as you munch on it, and then you hear a rumble in the tummy, as it’s trying to combat it because you put a lot of weird foods in your body lately. And then fire, a small cloud of smoke comes out. You're like, “That’s a spicy meatball.” And then, a quick beam of fire comes out.

Dan: Minnis just runs 25 feet to the left, screaming, “I’m on fire!” And then hawkie is going to… What’s around? Are there guards around?

Tony: Yes.

Dan: Great. Hawkie’s just gonna- and then my hawk, all confused, flies over to this mage-looking guy, and starts attacking.

Tony: Go ahead.

Dan: Does a 15 hit.

Tony: A 15 does hit.

Dan: Lovely. And it takes 9 points of slashing damage.

Tony: [imitates hawk noise] with his razor-sharp claws through his chest.

Dan: Magic slashing damage.

Tony: We’re gonna go to initiative 13, which is Drell of the Jazzgonborn, as you are awakened in this massive, bulky brass dragon, with beautiful sounds of saxophone coming through your nostrils, as you've just finished breathing fire down below you, killing a bunch of these Red Dawn guards. And you look at the ashy ground. What are you doing?

Alec: So, I have a question. I have a lot of things I can do.

Tony: That you do.

Alec: Is Armos right next to me?

Tony: He is right next to you. You are a cloud.

Jared: Am I still a cloud? I can’t remember.

Alec: Alright. Well, nevermind. I guess I’ll wait. So, what I’m gonna do is, I’ll be like… You know, Drell is a dragon-sized mouse, and he’s seen Armos, and he’s now also seen Minnis cast something that he thinks is pretty cool. And now he’s gonna be able to cast it as well. So, for the very first time ever on DND404, Drell is going to cast Fireball. So, he’s gonna cast it in the direction- what is it, the west side, that has the most guards?

Tony: Yeah. There are three guards sitting in front of you, dispersed.

Alec: So, he’s gonna cast Fireball because he wants to do it. And yeah, he’s gonna cast it at a third level. So, that's a Dex save of 16.

Tony: With a nat 1 from the three of them - how much damage are they getting?

Alec: 31 damage.

Tony: You shoot this fireball from your mouth as the saxophone notes play through your nose. [imitates explosion noise] As these three Red Dawn guards, one of them being a wizard-looking fella, burst into flames, and they run around screaming, [screaming noises], and they are eviscerated.

Alec: He’s gonna lean over to Minnis. He assumes the gas next to him is Armos as well, and he goes, “That’s pretty fucking cool.”

Dan: “Armos, it’s talking to me!”

Alec: Well, I assume I can speak. If I can’t speak, then Drell lens over and he makes mouse dragon noises that he thinks he’s saying “That’s pretty fucking cool” to all of them.

Tony: You make mouse dragon noises as you speak to them.

Alec: I figured.

Dan: “Armos, it’s trying to eat me!”

Tony: Amazing. We’re gonna go to initiative 10. Three of these Red Dawn guards instantly turn to cinders as they are eviscerated from Drell’s fireball, first one of the campaign. There are two additional guards just south of Minnis. Minnis, you are currently right next to this pedestal that's in the center of the courtyard. Upon that pedestal, which acts as a stage for the courtyard, is this massive blood ore vein that you saw the giant iron knight, who’s nowhere to be seen at the moment, brought in. And they rested it upon this pedestal. And it’s emitting a soft red glow. Two of these Red Dawn nights are going to charge towards you. One of them gets within range, and is going to make attacks on you.

Dan: No. Stop.

Tony: As they are scared and intimidated, they come over with their greatsword and miss both shots as your fleetness is on your side, as you are dodging these attacks.

Dan: Minnis is just screaming. [screaming noises]

Tony: Up on the castle wall, from the southwest side, you hear a slight fuse among the chaos, and boom - the firing of a cannon. It’s launched from one of the towers, and it goes to hit Drell. With a 19, a massive cannonball hits you right in the chest, dealing 12 points of bludgeoning damage, as you are shot with this cannonball right in your dragon rat chest. Armos, in gaseous form, looking at this giant dragon rat, and Minnis eating a dragon pepper in the middle of a battlefield, what are you doing?

Jared: So, as I see the glutes of this crazy dragon rat in my face, I scan the battlefield to see what else is left. I hear a cannon go off, and I see Minnis getting attacked. But just past Minnis, I see…

Dan: Stop it… [laughs]

Jared: The blood ore. Armos is having a fight within himself. He can’t help it. And, uh… Yeah, it got away from him once, it ain’t gonna get away from him again. “It looks like these guys got it handled.” He runs 30 feet to the ore to try to smack it with his tome.

Tony: So, you're gonna take an attack of opportunity here, as there is a guard right next to Minnis.

Jared: What? Where?

Alec: And there’s also a giant dragon that would also get an opportunity attack. Because I was right next to him, right?

Tony: You are right next to him. You can absolutely take an opportunity attack, Drell.

Jared: Okay, okay. I change my mind. I misty-step over there. Fuck you guys.

Tony: Oh, you son of a bitch. Armos misty-steps 30 feet in front of the giant red ore vein, and he is going to… Takes out his tome, Reginald on his shoulder going, “Yes, finally!” And as you smack the book into the blood ore vein, a giant red light flashes and blinds everybody in the courtyard for but a moment. And just like before, time stands still, as Armos, you fall flat on your face after absorbing this blood ore vein. And as your body hits the hard cobblestone floor of this courtyard, you are instantly teleported to this tall pedestal in the middle of a blood-red ocean, with waves crashing around, with a long bridge that is currently being raised towards a dark silhouette of a castle way in the distance. The maroon clouds in the sky lightly cover a blueish, tealish moon. And in the center of the pedestal, just like before, is this bowl, this blood well, where you have put your absorbed blood shards in many times before.

Jared: Well, first, do I see the whale floating around?

Tony: “Hey, Armos.”

Jared: There it is, okay. What about the demon? Where’s that guy?

Tony: You do not see Reginald.

Jared: Well, dang it. How far is the bridge now? Before I do anything, does it look pretty far?

Tony: The bridge looks about halfway complete from where you can gaze upon the pedestal. It is not completed yet. You remember that every time you put your tome, that is fully charged right now because of the blood ore vein, the bridge becomes closer to that dark castle.

Jared: Yeah. Alright. If I’m here, I guess, to put my tome on the… Is it a pedestal?

Tony: Yes. So, the blood well in front of you kinda looks like a shallow bowl filled with blood. And you place your book, and the book flies open as the pages shuffle to a specific spot within the tome. This blueish, tealish light etherealizes from the blood well, and shoots towards the moon. And as the moon absorbs this energy, you hear the sounds of souls lightly screaming in the distance, as the moon glows. And then, you feel a presence behind you.

Jared: “Who’s there?’

Tony: And as you go to turn around, this ruby-red gauntlet rests upon your shoulder. “Who knew this world had such talent? Keep this up, Armos, and you will be rewarded.”

Jared: “What kind of reward? What are you talking about? What are you gonna give me?”

Tony: You turn around, and in a dark cloak with its hood down is a Tiefling. Slicked back horns and black hair. Golden eyes and black pupils. His horns are similar to yours, Armos. It is a maroon, blood-red Tiefling, only covered up by a tattered-up black cloak, except the only thing that looks different- there are two things. One, he’s much taller than you are…

Jared: Son of a bitch.

Tony: And two, his right arm turns into that ruby red gauntlet that looks like it’s made up of blood shards, the one that is on your shoulder. He goes, “Keep this up, and you will be rewarded.” You snap back, and on your next initiative you will come back up, you will be fully healed, and you have all your spell slots back.

Jared: Yay!

Dan: Oh my goodness.

Tony: We go back to the top of the round on initiative 20, as the bells gong and warn the Red Dawn knights of the danger, alarming the city of Raven’s Rest. And as the bells ring, you hear the cries of its people beyond the walls, as the sounds of panic start to run through the streets of Raven’s Rest. And then, the bells stop. As the bells stop, you hear a voice come from above you, as the sounds of fighting cease for but a moment, and amongst the chaos, as the dried dirt and fallen stone and debris, and the light fog clears from the air, way up in the barricades, in the tallest tower, stands an ominous figure wearing a dark blood-red cloak, hiding his appearance. However, one feature is prominent, as there are two white horns that gradually turn black at its point. These horns antler out, and are facing backwards. Armos, as you awaken, you can also tell that these horns are of a Tiefling.

Jared: What is happening? There are so many of these?

Tony: He is about 80-120 feet above you, in this large tower.

Jared: Of course he is. I didn't see any Tieflings this entire time, and now I’ve seen two in just a matter of minutes?

Dan: “Guys, there’s a mysterious figure on that perch!”

Jared: “It’s got horns. Never trust a guy with horns.”

Tony: And as he yells out into the courtyard: “Members of the Dawn and those loyal to its command, focus your attentions on Raven’s Rest. Let the husks and the Revenger handle our intruders. Revenger, bring the Tiefling alive.”

Dan: I really thought he was gonna say “assemble.”

Jared: Wait… I know.

Tony: “Revenger, assemble!”

Jared: They just have an android-looking thing, a gauntlet being built to his chest.”

Dan: Continue, Tony. Sorry.

Tony: “Bring the Tiefling alive, and decimate the others.” And through its front gates, it is the iron knight from before, bursting into the center of the battlefield. Boom! This massive iron knight, with its huge greatsword, and green flames illuminating from within it, bursts through the barracks’ front gate. As you start to see the guards up on the castle rooves begin to focus their attention elsewhere, as there are two other Red Dawn knights standing near the Revenger, looking at you three. The Revenger takes notice of Drell, the giant dragon in the corner. We’re gonna go to initiative 19. Minnis?

Dan: “This is bad! I have heartburn and there are tons of enemies! And there's this big old dragon!” So, I’m gonna sidestep over to my left to get a better vantage point around this guard. First I’m gonna hit this guard. I hit him with my javelin. Wow, that's a 12. 2 to start the battle, gotta love that. And as I’m missing, and because I’m just so frantic, I use my second attack to do that fire breath, and I burp out that line of fire breath to hit the two guards and the armored atrocity in front of me.

Tony: Amazing.

Dan: Is that two d10s?

Tony: It’s gonna be two d10s. And what’s the dexterity saving throw that you can make?

Dan: Is it based off of mine, or is it from the item itself?

Tony: It’ll be based on your spellcasting power.

Dan: Okay, then. 14.

Tony: 14, awesome. 14.

Dan: “[burps] Oh, that hurts!”

Tony: You shoot out this line of fire breath as they are caught completely off guard, as they would never see this coming, and they get domed right on. The knight takes 14 points of damage as the fire blast hits the iron knight. And then, as the fire blast goes to hit him, it stops within its tracks, as it looks like he’s now absorbing it. Fire goes inside the iron knight.

Dan: And then, my little hawk is gonna attack the guy next to me. 20.

Tony: That's gonna hit.

Dan: And 11 points of slash and magic damage.

Tony: Amazing. You see one of the Sids is riding your hawk as the hawk is attacking this guard.

Dan: And since I did hit with my fire breath, I suppose I’ll mark the Revenger as my favored foe to do an extra three points of damage.

Tony: Amazing. So, now we’re gonna move to the next initiative, which is Drell of the Jazzgonborn.

Alec: Okay. So, I’m getting the final battle in Jurassic World feels right now, where it’s the two T-Rexes fighting each other. I’m gonna make my way to the Revenger. I’m just gonna go ahead and cast a fifth-level dragon’s breath directly pointed at him, and it’s going to be acid damage.

Tony: Perfect. What’s the save he needs to make?

Alec: It’s a Dex save of 16, but I wanna see if I can do something to help me. No. I think that’ll be it.

Tony: He doesn’t even move as you just run up to him - boom, boom, boom, heavy dragon steps running through the courtyard, making the ground tremble, as the Revenger observes his surroundings, and you throw up this acid breath right on top of him, taking how much damage?

Alec: So, I guess before I do that, what I also want to do — let me know if I can do this — I wanna use an ability with that. I wanna use twinned spell, which is, I would burn sorcery points equal to the spell’s level. So, it would be five sorcery points to twin the spell. And I want to spew it in the direction of the other guards south.

Tony: Absolutely, you can do that.

Alec: So, they all have to make Dex saving throws as well, and then I’ll roll the natural.

Tony: Okay.

Jared: Acid everywhere.

Alec: He turns around to Minnis, and in a draconic voice goes, “Talk about real heartburn.”

Tony: The knights have also failed.

Alec: So, that is going to be 17 acid damage to the Revenger and also the guards.

Tony: The knight that Minnis was attacking falls as he is now melted from your acid breath. First he’s getting clawed at. “Ah, get away, get away!” And [screams] as he begins to melt from the acid, and the other one begins to scream in pain. As these knights begin to dissolve away from your acid breath, it’s not going to move to the Revenger’s turn. As he gets spewed with this acid damage, you start to see his armor corrode for just a bit, as he is now going to take a massive swing at you with his greatsword. With a 16 and an 18, you are going to take 17 points of slashing damage, and an additional 24 points of slashing damage, as he comes across your massive dragon head, and then uppercuts you across your body. And the sounds of cogs can be heard within him as the flames erupt like an engine.

Alec: I like to think, as I’m being hit, and as I’m soaking up this damage, I just breathe out through my nostrils, and you can actually see the smoke that is made of jazz notes.

Tony: [laughs] We’re gonna move to the knight, and the knight is moving out of the way from the acid breath. He is going to sidestep out of the way, he’s going to move 10 feet back, and he is going to take out a crossbow and try to shoot you. Ooh, looking very messed up. 15, right on the money for you, as a crossbow bolt hits you in your body, dealing 6 additional piercing damage. We’re gonna move to initiative 4, which is Armos. Waking up from your blood shard-induced coma…

Jared: “No regrets.” Okay, so there’s the one guy and the Revenger.

Tony: Correct. In the courtyard with you. There’s one guy at the top of the tower that's shot a cannon at you.

Jared: There’s only one guy up in the tower? That's it? I wanna know how many people I can see.

Tony: Those are the three people that you can see as of right now. But he’s up in the tower, so you don’t have direct sight on him. The tower is 70 feet above you. You see a cannon pointed at you.

Jared: Okay. Do I see any way of getting up there?

Tony: From your direction, yes. So, you know that each corner of this courtyard is its own tower. There’s a door at the base of it.

Jared: I’m gonna Eldritch Blast this dude that's in between me and that door. First one is a 23. The second one is a 13.

Tony: The first one is going to hit, the 23.

Jared: And does 10 damage, and knocks him back.

Tony: Reggie goes, “Oh, yeah. Good, you got this.” The Eldritch Blast flies from your fingertip and goes- instead of knocking him back, it goes right through his chest. He looks down, and he puts his hand through the hole that you just created, and he falls dead.

Jared: Nice. Can I run in that direction, or am I gonna get opportunitied by the Revenger?

Tony: You would be in range if he wanted to do an opportunity attack.

Jared: I wanna get to the wall in the back of the room without getting opportunity attacked.

Tony: So, you can take the long way around, and try to go a wide spread around.

Jared: So, whatever that is.

Tony: You move westward to hug the wall of the courtyard, and try to take the long way around so you're not prone to an opportunity attack, absolutely. We’re gonna go to round 20. From the tower, from the mysterious figure that made that speech before, two arrows come down. Armos, one arrow lands right at your feet, almost hitting you. As you look down on this arrow, it does not look like a normal arrow. There is an arrowhead of what resembles a blood shard.

Jared: I take it.

Tony: And the rest of the arrow is ethereal, that feathers out. And then, as it sticks into the ground for a moment, it dissolves in front of you, as another arrow shoots into the leg.

Jared: Does that one dissolve?

Tony: Dealing 4 points of piercing damage, with an additional 5 points of force damage, as this blood shard arrow shoots into your leg, and then dissolves as it hits. You look up, and you see this cloaked figure with a very strange bow illuminating this red light, giving off this energy that you can feel from down below.

Jared: Real quick, where is that guy in conjunction- like, I know he’s not on this level. Is he on the north, east, south, west?

Tony: He’s on the north tower.

Jared: So, I need to get a plan of attack, got it.

Tony: We’re gonna move to initiative 19. Minnis, you're in the thick of it, right between Drell the dragon and the Revenger standing off.

Dan: God… So, I obviously have acid reflux — or should I say fire reflux — and I kinda look up at this dragon that's towering over me, and I look up at the dragon’s crack, and I notice that these are very defined glutes. I go, “Armos… I think this is Drell! Drell, you got this one, buddy!” I kinda smack the back of…

Tony: “Where’s Drell, man?”

Jared: “You see the glutes over there, bro, on that thing?”

Tony: “Let me see. Hold on.” Now Reginald has glasses on, for some reason. He cleans them off in his rabbit fur. “Oh, look at those bad boys. Oh, it is Drell!”

Dan: [laughs] I smack the back of his ankle, I guess. “You got this, Drell! Hawky is gonna help you, okay?” And I’m just gonna start running. I’m just gonna start running northwest, in the direction of the nearest door, and I’m going to just blast fire at this door to open it, hopefully.

Tony: Yeah, absolutely. How much damage are you doing to it?

Dan: I get to do it twice, so… 28 points of damage.

Tony: This steel and wooden door bursts open as you shoot this ray of fire right into it, revealing a room. You can see now charred books on the other end of it, and a broken bench on a dark, yet carefully placed cobblestone floor.

Dan: Lovely. And then, I wanna… I’m not sure if this is within the realm of what Hawky can do, but I want Hawky to use his action to distract the Revenger while Drell is attacking.

Tony: Okay. Does it have a specific ability, or?

Dan: There’s fly-by attacks, multi-attacks. It doesn’t say yay or nay. I just wanna forego its action to do a distraction.

Tony: You mean a… Yeah. So, you can have the hawk make a performance check as it’s trying to get in its way, trying to distract it.

Dan: Okay. That's a 2.

Tony: It is unfazed, as even as the hawk is trying to peck at him, it’s not going to do anything to the armor.

Dan: I tried [laughs].

Tony: We’re gonna go to initiative 13, which is Drell.

Alec: Seeing how the Revenger was about to try to attack him, Drell is gonna go first. And he’s gonna put out his arms, and he’s gonna grab the Revenger, and I’m going to do a fourth-level Burning Hands onto the Revenger. That is another Dex save of DC 16.

Tony: And how much damage are you doing?

Alec: I’ve got so many 1s and 2s… They're all 1s and 2s.

Tony: Good. No, that's good.

Alec: That is 8 damage.

Tony: As you cast Burning Hands, the fire erupts from your mouth, and as you breathe this fire, the kinks of his armor begin to suck in the flames and absorb the fire, and then blows the steam back out.

Alec: But it’s my hands. It’s my hands. I don’t wanna backseat game, but that's what I did before.

Tony: As the flames erupt from your hands, the kinks of the armor absorb it’s flames as it goes inside the iron knight. And then, steam comes out through the kinks of its armor.

Alec: Am I able to… Like, I guess, since I’ve been in its face, am I able to… Seeing that, am I able to see if that benefits…

Tony: Oh, you're convinced it didn’t do anything to him. If anything, it helped him.

Alec: Okay, cool. Trying all different types of damage, trying to see what’s sticking.

Tony: Glad it was 1s and 2s. You know the acid damage was effective. It’s gonna go to the Revenger’s turn on initiative 10, as it is going to snap its hands away and swipe at you again with its greatsword with a 23 to hit, dealing 22 slashing damage. And it comes back with another attack, just missing as it slices over you.

Alec: I would say the slashing has officially- you know, at first Drell kinda felt like the cannonball and everything was more like little rocks bouncing off his armor, but these slices are, I think… Drell is starting to realize that they're pretty serious, and the wounds are bleeding pretty heavily.

Tony: They are serious. You know what else is serious? Another cannonball coming from that tower, as it fires, hitting you for exactly your AC, dealing 16 points of damage. There’s another cannonball - boom, hits you right in the side of your face. We’re gonna move to initiative 4. Armos?

Jared: I think I’m really proud of this turn. We’ll see how it goes.

Tony: I’m ready.

Dan: Famous last words?

Jared: [laughs] Okay, so, I need to know this before. If I use an inspiration dice, does that give me an extra action?

Tony: It’s a reroll.

Jared: It’s just a reroll, right?

Tony: And Drell, give me an action surge.

Jared: Man… I have a really cool idea, but it’s gonna take two turns instead of one. Seeing the figure out of my reach, since I can only Misty Step so far and not able to get up to where the arrows are shooting me, Armos, laser-focused on this guy after getting shot with an arrow to the leg, uses his quick brain to try to figure out how to get up there as quickly as possible. He goes and has an “aha” moment, and goes into his bag and drinks the Black Owl Potion to turn into an owl, and quickly flies up there and makes eye-fucking-contact with the guy.

Tony: [laughs] That's amazing. Remember that left turn I was talking about when we started today’s session? That's the left turn. Do you have what it does?

Jared: Yes. When you drink the potion, you transform into a black-feathered bird for one hour. This effect, we can go in and out of it for that hour. You retain your Wisdom and Charisma scores. It’s like if you're a druid, Shapeshifting feature, you can now transform into a giant owl instead. Drinking the potion does not extend a use of Wildshape, whatever that means.

Tony: You're not a druid, so you don’t have to worry about it.

Tony: Excuse me, as I have to prepare something real quick.

Dan: Yes, Jared, yes.

Jared: I need to be looking at this dude. I want his impending doom…

Dan: Taking piercing damage from my eyes.

Tony: You are… You are… Wow, talk about an eventful episode. Holy shit. Okay. wonderful. I am not at all trying to delay, to pull something out of my asshole. I’m just looking for my notes.

Dan: [laughing] This is what you dream of as a player, you know?

Jared: Dude, I…

Dan: And I didn’t even do it.

Tony: I’ve prepped for three days, did not think this was gonna happen.

Dan: This is the inverse of Drell’s mountain thing. Instead of dropping down, you're like…

Tony: I’m just gonna let you know, Armos, this was your choice. Armos, you turn into this owl, and you fly up, as you move at soaring speeds, and you land way on top of this tower. This tower that you landed on is the tallest of the four towers there. And you land on this perch, where this cloaked figure with a very strange longbow is holding, and you fly- are you coming out of the form, or are you still in owl form?

Jared: So, this was gonna be my hope for the turn, that I was gonna fly straight up so that he can see me, and then I was gonna just blast him back with some spells.

Tony: So, you need to turn back to normal to cast.

Jared: Yeah, yeah. But since I can’t even…

Tony: So, are you gonna stay as the owl, just land on the perch looking at him, or hovering in the air, looking at him?

Jared: Yeah, I’ll be just like a giant owl. Because I don’t know if I can shapeshift back.

Tony: So, are you next to him, or still in the air?

Jared: Next to him.

Tony: Are you flying, or are you on the perch?

Jared: I’d say I’m flying still.

Dan: That's more menacing.

Jared: Yeah, I’m trying to…

Tony: Armos, as you transform into this owl, you fly up about 120 feet in your owl form, and you flap as you look at this cloaked figure with a very menacing bow that does not look like your typical, everyday longbow. He stares at you, and as he stares at you through the darkness of his hood, he then lowers his hood to reveal his face to you. The pale white Tiefling with black-tipped horns stands before you. Under his cloak he is shirtless, only wearing leather armor pants and demon hide boots. No armor is above him, as he is shirtless. However, he is covered in tattoos, and the tattoos consist of various phrases in unfamiliar languages, and markings most familiar to runes. The tattoos are blood-colored, and he has all-black pupils. At his hip are two rapiers ready to be drawn. On his right is a quiver of thick arrows. He is holding a longbow. All three weapons look to be infused with blood shards. “Armos, so nice of you to bring yourself to my doorstep.” And he is going to take a reaction, and he’s going to shoot an arrow right at you. With an 18 and 22 point-blank, you're going to take two of these blood shard arrows. In lightning speed, he draws the arrows, and they shoot forward right at you, dealing 18 points of damage, as these blood shard arrows pierce into you. That was your turn. So, now we’re going to move to initiative 20, which is his thing, again. And he is going to take his bow, as he’s going to re-nock it, and he’s going to shoot again. 14. At a 25, he’s going to- only one of those hit, as he’s going to do an additional 15 points of damage, as another arrow goes right through your owl body. You see on your shoulder, Reginald is now a small owl, and he looks like he can’t fly because his body is bigger than his wings. “Oh, this is the good part. Don’t fall, don’t fall, buddy.” The mysterious figure goes, “If I have to kill you, then so be it. But I’d much prefer to keep you alive,” as he’s getting ready to nock another arrow. We’re gonna go to initiative 19, which is Minnis.

Dan: I’m between a dragon and a hard place, so, oh my. I’m gonna take a quick peek in the room at the northwest, and I see a stairwell that I hope will bring me up to where Armos is. I just saw Armos turn into an owl, I guess, and now I look up, I see an owl, I turn around and I see Drell. I’m just like, “Drell, you got this! Armos, I’m coming!” And Hawky does… After I take a dash action to the stairs, I’m gonna have Hawky just attack this time on the armored Revenger.

Tony: Okay.

Dan: That's definitely going to hit. That's a 21.

Tony: That is just going to hit.

Dan: What do you mean, “Just gonna hit?”

Tony: Just going to hit. How much damage is it doing?

Dan: My goodness, 11. Magic slashing damage.

Tony: Magic slashing damage? That's very important. As the razor-sharp magical claws from this hawk being ridden by a Sid slashes into the metal armor.

Dan: There’s a little bandana on Sid junior, and it’s one of the ones that ranked up through the Sid juniors to be like Sid’s second hand in command, and I think Sid likes to loot as we go through the door. I don’t know if I’ve said it yet, but my little has fly-by attacks, so it drops 30 feet, attacks, and goes back up 30 feet.

Tony: Amazing. So, while Hawky is attacking, you run in on the dark cobblestone floor at the base of the tower that you're now entering. There is a spiral staircase that is resting on a rug that looks like it’s going up. And we’re gonna move to initiative 13, Drell.

Alec: So, I think he sees Armos turn into an owl and disappear, and he sees Minnis look at him and run into the building. I think Drell starts to, for the first time in a really long time, he starts to feel alone again, as he’s really, really hurting. And he is going to focus again. He is going to look back at the Revenger and he’s going to- I’m gonna be casting a fourth-level dragon’s breath, which is a DC 16 again, Dex saving throw.

Tony: Wonderful. He fails at this dragon’s breath. What kind of breath is it?

Alec: Thank you for asking me, because it is an Enervating Breath, which now he needs to make a… Well, it’s poison. So, it says I get to pick a trait as well. So, I’m gonna be using Enervating Breath, which is, each creature in the cone must succeed a Constitution saving throw or become incapacitated until the start of the next turn. So, it has to make a Constitution saving throw. It’s a DC 13 Con saving throw.

Tony: He is going to pass with a 24.

Alec: I went ahead and I rolled a 5d6 poison damage, and that is 28 points of poison damage.

Tony: As you hail this poison breath onto him, it gets into the kinks of his armor, and you see that he reacts to it, and flames erupt beneath him. We're gonna move to initiative 10, which is the Revenger. And he is going to…

Dan: Hit my hawk.

Tony: As the green flames erupt and react to the poison breath, he is going to use his breath weapon, as this black necrotic fog spews out in a cone. He’s going to exhale this necrotic gas in a 15-foot radius in a cone right onto you, Drell. You're gonna have to make me a Constitution saving throw with DC 15.

Alec: That's a 19.

Tony: Ooh, you're gonna take half of 54, which is 27 points of necrotic damage. This black necrotic gas spews out in a cone, but your dragon-like resistance keeps you standing as you only take 27 points of necrotic damage, which is half. We’re gonna move to initiative 4. Armos.

Jared: I’ve got three options of things I can do, and it depends on if he’s got a lot of Wisdom, if he's got a lot of constitution, or if he’s got Dexterity.

Dan: He’s shooting a bow, so we know one of those.

Tony: That's meta-gaming.

Jared: That's what I was thinking too, so I’m gonna go with the Wisdom thing. After flying up here and seeing this guy face to face, my blind rage is kinda catching up to me, as I hear Drell hurting in the background. This isn’t gonna work, but I’m gonna give it a shot anyways. I cast Polymorph on the guy to see if we can buy some time. This better fucking work! Because I had a cool other idea. I’m worried about Drell out there.

Tony: Yeah. You cast Polymorph, but you need to be in your Armos form, not in your owl form.

Jared: After getting hit with the last arrow, I transform back into Armos, and realize that we left Drell and Minnis behind. And trying to make quick work of this, I cast Polymorph on the pale-skinned Tiefling.

Tony: Armos, you transform back, and you now get the sense of reality again as yourself. You are currently in a tower that's about 120-150 feet up in the air, overlooking the barracks courtyard where Drell is fighting the iron knight. You cannot see Minnis from your current position. This balcony is meant to overlook the courtyard. You should feel high winds at the height that you are, but this is Shadowfell, and you do not feel that. And as you land to cast polymorph, he needs to make a saving throw of… What was it, DC…?

Jared: 16.

Dan: Is this a bowl of danger roll, where we can see what you roll when you roll it?

Tony: What animal does he turn into?

Jared: [laughs triumphantly]

Dan: No flipping way!

Jared: So, this is one of the first times I’ve used this. So, I wanna make him into something super easy to just pick up and hold.

Tony: A fish.

Jared: Well, a fish would die from air. I was thinking a rat, maybe?

Tony: It has to be a beast, right?

Jared: Yes. I did see that piece. Let’s do a frog, because it seems very easy.

Tony: As you cast Polymorph as you land right in front of him, Reginald is like, “Oh, Armos, he’s like one of you.” And while Reginald is talking, this white Tiefling is saying, “Bold of you to come face me,” and then turns into a frog. And he is a pale, white frog. The frog’s flesh tone mimics the Tiefling, and you see that he looks around, and his giant bow just falls to the floor. He goes, “Bold of you to come face to face [words turns into ribbits].”

Jared: I catch him.

Tony: This is your action, you're still in combat. We are going to move to initiative 20, which is the frog dude. And you see that the frog becomes self-aware in this situation. He’s like, [ribbit]. And he starts to hop away in the opposite direction. “Armos, get him! That's him! I think he cast a spell on himself. I’m pretty sure it’s him!” Oh, wow, the world of possibilities where this episode can go. Oh my God, you guys, I didn’t…

Jared: Don’t worry. I’m about to break your world, bro.

Tony: We’re gonna go to initiative 19. Minnis.

Dan: I think the best thing is… Because it’s just gonna be inefficient for me to go back outside.

Jared: You wouldn't have known what happened up top.

Dan: I’d probably be able to do the same thing soon, and I wouldn't know it happened, yeah. So, how many feet is it to get up the stairs?

Tony: So, this tower, you know it’s about 120 feet in the air, and it spirals all the way up. But it would be the third floor of this castle. So, you’d probably have to take two full movements, two full dash actions.

Dan: I’ll dash once. Are there windows in this tower that I can see out of, or no?

Tony: There are. They're really small. They're not really good. As a matter of fact, you wouldn't be able to see them at your height. They're very small, castle-like windows.

Dan: Screw you. How tall are they?

Tony: They're about six feet.

Dan: You ableist mother-trucker.

Jared: Someone outside just sees a pair of horns running up the stairs.

Tony: Fuck you guys for making me spread you out like peanut butter and jelly. So, Minnis, using your dash action you run up the spiral staircase, running up this tower. You are now on the second floor of this barracks. This is the floor where if you wanted to get on top of the castle wall, you can now walk across the castle walls to get to each of the towers. But the staircase still goes up. What else do you do on your turn?

Dan: Well, I wanted to look outside, but I can’t. So, that's all I can do, except for yell out the window, “Hawky, get him!”

Tony: The hawk tries to look for you, but just can’t see you through the windows, as they are just too tall, but will make another attack on the Revenger.

Dan: It’s gonna hear me at least. Oh, baby, 23.

Tony: That will hit.

Dan: And it’s gonna take 8 magical slashing damage.

Tony: So good. As Hawky dives down, as the thing goes [imitates a trumpet sounds], a little trumpet, and doing some pretty good cuts into his armor. We’re gonna move to initiative 13, Drell. You are bleeding from your saxophone nose, and blood is coming from your mouth as lightning crackling within you.

Alec: I’m bleeding everywhere. And unfortunately, I don’t think I can run. But Drell, just like his mom and his dad, Drell’s whole mission was to fight beasts, and I don’t think at this moment Drell would probably run anyways. Oh, God. So, we’re gonna go ahead, and I’m gonna use my last fourth-level spell slot to cast dragon’s breath again. So, he needs to make a Dex save of 16, and then a Con save of 13.

Tony: He passes his Dexterity saving throw, and he also passes his Constitution saving throw, rolling 19 on both of them.

Alec: Okay. Then he takes half of 19 Acid damage.

Tony: You see that he’s trying to get out of the way, but rather than move, he braces himself as this acid damage is poured onto him, and he looks like he’s getting ready for another attack. What else are you doing?

Alec: God, I wish I could do more. I think that's my turn.

Tony: We’re gonna move to initiative 10, which is the Revenger, as he’s getting breathed on with this Acid damage. And he’s going to make an attack against you, Drell, but rather than coming at you with the greatsword, he’s going to come at you with his giant fist, with an uppercut hitting with a 27, going to deal 29 points of Bludgeoning damage, as he gives you a straight uppercut to your dragon jaw. And as he’s spinning from the uppercut, he’s going to take his greatsword and lunge it to the balcony that Armos is standing on with this frog.

Dan: Like a harpoon?

Tony: Like a harpoon.

Dan: What?

Tony: Armos, what is your AC again?

Jared: Wait, it’s at me?

Tony: Yeah. It’s launching it at you.

Jared: Well why don’t you tell me…

Dan: What’s the range on that thing?

Jared: Yeah?

Tony: What is your AC?

Jared: 13.

Tony: With a 15, this massive greatsword flies through the air like a harpoon, piercing the bottom of the balcony, jutting up right at your feet, as you are going to take…

Jared: Sounds like slashing damage to me.

Tony: 16 points of slashing damage, as it hurls its sword right in your direction. It looks like it’s shifting focus.

Jared: I feel like I stepped on a Lego and only take 8 damage, because I’m resistant.

Tony: Drell, how much health- how are you feeling right now?

Alec: Well, you kinda breezed past that, because for the first time in 59 episodes of the DND404 podcast, Drell is downed.

Jared: Oh, no.

Tony: As he delivers that uppercut, you get airborne from this uppercut to the jaw, as you go below your hit points, getting knocked back into normal, naked Drell form, and you're now on the floor, unconscious. You're gonna have to make me some Death saving throws in the next episode of DND404.

Jared: Damn.

Alec: Damn. first time. 59 episodes. Abandoned. Abandoned from his friends.

Tony: Not how I thought this episode was gonna go. I have so much to say.

Alec: The aftershow is gonna be crazy. Oh my God.

Jared: Well, yeah. We’re gonna talk about it in the aftershow.

Tony: What am I gonna do with that frog, bro?

Alec: We were supposed to be recording back-to-back episodes tonight, but I might have to get off early tonight, so you guys can finish up without me.

Jared: I had such a plan, and then once I got up there, I was like… Like, you guys haven't even seen this room. As soon as I landed, I was like, “Oh, I’m not supposed to be here yet.”

Tony: No.

Jared: I thought it would be just some- a little harder guy. And I was like, I’m just gonna go up there and whoop his ass.

Tony: He saw the room. It’s a pretty ominous room, isn’t it, Armos?

Dan: The split-up is what really did me in this episode. Hindsight is 20/20 is all I’m going to say, but I have a lot to say in the aftershow. And I think we’re gonna get right into this one. I never thought I’d see Drell go down.

Alec: Neither did I.

Jared: To be honest, when I left you, you were looking pretty great. And then, by the time I got up there, it changed.

Alec: You do realize I lost about 150 hit points in three turns, right?

Jared: Yeah.

Alec: And the one healer was like, “I’ll see you later.” And I'm just like, “Well, I can’t say anything to you, but okay.” He’s like, “Drell, you got this,” And I’m thinking, “Not really, but okay.”

Tony: You guys are cold-blooded. You guys just left him. I was like, why? Why?

Dan: You'll know why in the aftershow.

Jared: Alright, let’s go.

Dan: There was a lot going on. What do you mean “why?” You know everything that's going on, DM. We don’t. We’re making decisions based on the possibilities.

Tony: Yeah, we’re gonna go ahead and talk about it in the aftershow. But that wraps it up for this week. Fellas, thank you for joining us. Thanks for hanging out. And if you are baffled and kerfuffled, you're not alone, because I am too. Anybody have anything they wanna say before we close out this episode?

Dan: Yeah. So, we’ve been doing this for a while. We’re at episode 59. And we decided to re-release episode 1 in HD. Remastered, baby. That's right, THX. That's a brand, probably can’t say that. But if…

Tony: HD 4K.

Dan: If you've been with us for a while and didn’t realize, or are not in the Discord and didn’t see the notification, or on Patreon, I recommend going back and listening to episode 1 again, because we added all new music, we updated the mastering process on the vocals, and just tightened everything up. Something specific I really liked from that episode is Drell’s theme song. I’m in love with Drell’s theme song. If you're gonna listen to any song, definitely just listen to Drell’s theme song. It slaps.

Alec: You can probably have Minnis play it at his funeral too, so… If you like it so much.

Jared: One of the things that I’d like to add is that it just goes to our- we were all pretty unhappy with- we started off with that episode, and we feel like we’ve all gotten so much better where we are. So, seeing episode one in the state it was, we were like, we gotta change this and make it better to what the quality is now. So, hopefully it’s a good jump-off spot for newer listeners.

Tony: And I just got one quick thing to say. I’m not gonna harp on it too much, I’m not gonna expand on it. Marvel Snap is a great game.

Jared: You enjoyed it?

Tony: Card game. It’s great.

Jared: I know a lot of people that play that.

Tony: It’s super good, it’s fleshed out, it’s a really tight card game, and it’s super quick. I absolutely love it. If you play it, hit me up at the Discord, and we can play a few matches together, and maybe we’ll theorycraft some decks. Not sponsored. I wish.

Jared: And you can play it on Steam.

Alec: Shout out to Middle Eastern food. I just love Middle Eastern food. It’s so good.

Dan: I’ll second that one.

Alec: It’s probably one of my favorite types of food. Top two for sure.

Dan: Underrated in the states. If you can find a good Middle Eastern spot…

Alec: I’m very lucky to live in an area that I get a lot of Middle Eastern food, and I appreciate it.

Dan: Anywhere on the coasts, you're gonna get good Middle Eastern food.

Alec: So good. That's it. Say bye, everybody.

Jared: Ribbit. Wait, what is that?

Tony: “There’s that noise again. He thinks he’s smart. He thinks he can turn into a frog like we wouldn't notice.”

Dan: Alright, it’s time for the Patreon shoutouts. Starting with the Bloodshard Bandits. Somewhere in the cold winter mountains of North Drillis, Ulric Shielddusk continues to search for his golden blacksmith hammer. Deep within the mines, Ulric tries his luck with the help of the finest dwarven blacksmiths. After a night of merrymaking with old friends, he awakens hung over in an ice cave upside down and hanging by his feet. The sound of a yeti is heard from within the cavern. Julius Kendrick is covered in shrouds of darkness, protected by the Fel. he’s on the move, plotting revenge against the Bloodshard Bandits. No one knows if he is still in Raven’s Rest or not, but he is certainly plotting in one of his many hideouts. Without his old crew, lost to the blades of the Bloodshard bandits, he has no option but to raise an army of bones.
Raynes is making waves in the weather world as meteor-mage-ologist. Ever since he saved all those people from certain death, his ratings have never been better. The downside is that his insurance has been raised due to negligence. May the rains bless down on Raynes’ coin purse.
Now it’s time for the Sigic[?] College alumni. Starting with Artemis, who is alert and stoic as he protects the alchemists of the Sigic College and his new good friend Kemi Jo. Although the culprits of closet vandalizers are still at large.
Robit Crisp the artificer is determined to make his next invention work. Right now, Robit is developing new tech that will allow for instant hot bread, and calling it a Crisper. Hopefully this invention won’t become toasted like the last one.
The barbarian Ralimus is making noise as the rock tour is firing up, and his band is getting major traction. His band Beholder is gaining more fanlings every day.
Benjamin Hayes is one of the newest Sigic College alumni, and an astute wizard at that. Benjamin is currently majoring in street magic. Come to class to learn or get educated.
Zane Chaos is also a new member of the Sigic College alumni, however a bit of a delinquent, just as his name may suggest. Zane Chaos is part of the Tinker’s Guild, which rivals the Alchemist Guild at the Sigic College.
And we have Humbreah’s Heroes. Alex Dread is back with his newest animated scroll called Night of the Living Dread 3. We’ve been dreading this one.
Man With Glass is currently appealing his recent court ruling, as the jury couldn’t come to a conclusion. Also, after new evidence brought forth by Man With Stone, the case has resulted in a mistrial.
Sergio, the wandering vagabond, has begun travels to new distant lands. His cloak bellows in the wind of adventure. But what is his quest?
Lastly, we have another new member, Angel. This ranger specializes in adorable companions, from lovable pit bulls to a horde of kittens. That's right, kittens. Cuteness can certainly kill, with their tiny precious claws and nibbles.
And that's it for this week’s shoutouts. If you’d like to be added to these shoutouts, why don’t you go over to our Patreon? That's patreon.com/DND404, to see how that is done. Until next time, everybody.