Tony: Hello, everybody. Welcome back to DND 404. I am your DM, Tony, and joined with me are the other three WWE wrestlers in my lineup. Fellas, why don’t you go ahead and introduce yourselves, starting with the brawling, muscular, veiny Jared.

Dan: That's one of the best intros ever.

Jared: That was wonderful. Armos checking in. I gotta say, I used to watch wrestling as a kid all the way growing up, and some of my favorite ones are from those… Almost 80s to 90s. So, good old Macho Man Randy Savage. “Oh yeah, he’s the cream of the crop, rising to the top. You are nothing but a grain of sand in the desert that is Macho Madness.”

Dan: I’ve never simultaneously loved and hated something so much.

Jared: He is wonderful. I watch his interviews all the time, and man, it’s great. And when people do his impersonations, I love it.

Dan: I feel like we should let Alec go next, because he always gets his thing stolen.

Alec: You guys definitely will not take this one, but my name is Alec, I play Drell of the Ashborn, and my favorite WWE superstar is… I have to say, the Rated R superstar, Edge. He’s the fucking man, dude. And for those who don’t know, he had a neck injury in his prime, and he had to end up walking away from it. The 2020 Royal Rumble, when he comes back in the entrance of it, as soon as you hear it and everyone goes nuts, it’s one of the greatest comebacks ever. I fucking love Edge. Eddie Guerrero, close runner-up, RIP.

Dan: Right. And I am Dan, I play Minnis PebbleWalker, your tiny little swarmkeeper ranger. And I’m guessing I’ve watched the least WWE here of the group, but I did use to watch it at my buddy’s house, David, back in the day. Like, preschool, elementary school days. And we always loved watching Rey Mysterio. I’m gonna have to go with Rey Mysterio.

Tony: That's a good one. He was a favorite when I was younger too.

Dan: I think the best masked wrestler out there.

Jared: Oh, yeah. He’s awesome.

Dan: Loved watching him. And how about… Tony?

Tony: Mine is a three-in-one. Mankind. AKA Mr. Socko, AKA Cactus Jack.

Alec: Actually it’s four, right? If you count Just McFoley.

Tony: Oh, yeah, McFoley. And of course, The Boulder. Because he voices The Boulder in the Legend of Korra. He’s just a great guy.

Jared: Dude, Mankind was probably- he used to give me nightmares as a kid. He was so fucking weird.

Tony: He’s so weird. I feel like he went to the wrestling audition, they go, “What have you got for us?” “I got a bunch of leather belts that I put on my face. You don’t like that? I’ve got this hippie shirt I could wear. Oh, I’ve got this sock. Oh, I could just go as myself, a normal businessman who’s tired of his day-to-day job.” And they're like, “Yes.”

Jared: I just love that his finishing move was putting the sock on his hand, and then putting it in other people’s mouths. Wonderful.

Dan: So, I have a suggestion, Alec, since you're doing the rundown today. Do it in a Randy Savage voice.

Alec: See, everyone else does Randy Savage really great, so maybe when they do the rundown. But this time…

Tony: We’ll be the warrior, we’re like [pig snort].

Alec: Today’s rundown… This time, I’m gonna go ahead and do it in my normal voice. And this rundown is brought to you by the Discord. I’m gonna go ahead and plug it again. And it’s actually a super great milestone. We hit 100 members. [all say ‘yeah’ in mock Randy Savage voice] So, that's pretty dope. So, again, if you're listening to this and you're not in the Discord, you're super missing out. It’s got a lot of great content. A lot of people are sharing their own campaigns, their own characters, and their own homebrew stuff. And it’s also a great place where Tony sometimes also adds the character stat blocks and some map photos. So, if any of that sounds enticing, make sure you join.

Jared: Also, if you wanna just get in there and chat with us, we’re always open. Just let us know. Add us.

Dan: And probably in there too much. But I love you guys, so…

Tony: Awesome. And now it’s time to roll for the recap. You know the deal.

Alec: It needs to be a 2. It needs to be Dan.

Dan: I’m a 3.

Jared: He’s 3.

Alec: It definitely does not need to be 2.

Tony: You just manifested it. You know the deal. This is a newer segment we’ve been doing.we roll to see who does the recap, and we roll a giant foam rubber d4. I am the number 1, 2 is Alec, 3 is Dan, and 4 is Jared.

Dan: If it rolls another three, this is weighted. I want a new die.

Jared: And for those keeping score, it’s been 3 the last three times.

Tony: Yeah, all three times. So, this is four. Let’s see if he goes four for four. Wendy’s.

Jared: Stop saying fucking four and roll it. Let’s go back to 3.

Dan: Why am I so nervous right now?

Jared: Three for threes. More 3s.

Tony: Oh, it fell off.

Jared: No, it doesn’t count. Doesn’t count.

Tony: You wanna see what it is.

Alec: We have to see it.

Dan: You know the rules, we have to see it.

Jared: Whatever it is, I won’t believe it.

Tony: It would have been a 3, of course.

Alec: We should have just went with it. Fuck.

Tony: We’re gonna go with the flick.

Jared: Wait. You better flick that real hard.

Dan: This die is weighted. Are you kidding me? Tony, are you…

Tony: I got it, I got it.

Dan: You're just so notoriously bad at this. No, we have to see it on camera. We still have to be able to see it.

Tony: You're gonna see it, I just built a little barrier.

Jared: He knocks the barrier over.

Tony: It went behind the couch.

Dan: Are you fucking kidding me?

Jared: He just threw it over the couch. I just wanna point out to those listening.

Dan: It’s a 3 again?

Tony: I would also like to show that it was another 3.

Dan: Of course it was. Tony, take the barrier down, and just do the tiniest flick. It doesn’t need to be…

Alec: It isn’t spinning enough. It’s gotta get a lot of height, or else…

Dan: Okay. Take the barrier away.

Jared: It looked good.

Dan: Take the barrier away. It’s 1.

Jared: Do you smell the recap?

Tony: [In mock Randy Savage voice] Oh, yeah! The Bloodshard Bandits make it to Raven’s Rest, yeah, pretending to be Fallen, yeah. Make it past the Red Guard checkpoint. From there, the gang splits up with the little birdie and the talking giant, and the three heroes head to a tavern named the Raven’s Tears, yeah, where Drell overhears a couple of Red Dawn guards talking about them, yeah, unjustifiably putting them in a position that they’d rather not be in, brother. Yeah. And then a Kenku child steals Armos’ coin pouch, and a group chases them out of the town. Run, little birdie, run, as the group chases down the tiny Kenku child, the Bloodshard Vein can be seen being being pulled at Raven’s Rest, yeah, but the group gets the money back and meets back up with Birdie and head to the Shade’s Demands, a little shop that sells contraband within the walls, yeah. What kind of contraband, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. A piece of contraband that’ll put a spark in the show, really light up the session, as they find a magic lantern oil from the Fel Auburn[?], yeah. But there was a catch: the three heroes need to use the oil to go back to the material plane in the very shop, as there was a lack of trust between the two parties, yeah. And as the three heroes use the Fel Auburn to finally return home, the Revenger smashes through the building with his iron gauntlet, snatching Drell and slamming into the ground as the other two make a not-so-daring escape, yeah, just proving that they are mere shadows in the realm that is Revenger madness. Bard [09:26 inaudible], get on with the show!

Tony: Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening. And welcome to the world of Humbrea, featuring three first-time adventurers and one very patient DM. This is DND404. Boyos, we pick up today’s session, session 58, with a split party at the DM’s doing.

Dan: I thought it was suspicious that we had three vials. Perfect amount to go there, back, and then back.

Tony: Let’s start like this. Drell, roll me a d20 and… Roll me a d20. Let me know who gets the high roll. That's who we’ll start with today.

Dan: Is this a dexterity thing?

Tony: This is the role roll.

Alec: Got a 9.

Jared: 18.

Tony: Drell. The last thing you remember was Armos igniting the Fel Auburn, and the world around you was beginning to planeshift back to the material plane. And before you were snatched through the wall by this iron gauntlet, and a moment of respite turned into complete chaos, you are ripped out of the backside of this building, the general store that you bought this lantern oil from. Ripped out, you are being held by the iron knight. Surrounding you, you are held in the middle of the air. Before you can even react, all you see is, looking down about 20 feet, this iron knight is holding you up, and there are dozens of Red Dawn guards surrounding the building. You see Zenko, the shady Kenku that sold you the oil, is pinned down to the floor, and before your vision goes black as you are slammed into the floor, you see a spear go into the back of the Kenku’s head, effectively killing him on the spot. The iron knight takes you, and in a moment of surprise slams you down onto the floor, and begins to pound on you and rain punches. Your vision blackens. You awaken in a cell. You are cold, and the sounds of water drops is all around you, almost like a cave. Dark and dingy, and wet, with little to no light. Only the flames outside of your cell barely illuminate your surroundings. Across from you, there are more cells. You definitely know that you are in a dungeon of some kind, but the other cells are so dark, you can’t see into them.

Alec: [in mock Randy Savage voice] Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.

Tony: Drell, you awaken in this cell, and it is completely empty. You are bruised all over. The only thing you have on you is your cloak, and some undergarments.

Alec: What about my glasses?

Tony: Your gear is completely stripped. You have your Cape of Bellowing, which was not bellowing at the time, which is why they left it on you, and an undershirt. That is it. You are bruised all over. You are slashed. You see deep red marks around your wrists, feet, and neck, where they bonded you up and restrained you so tight, you feel like you wouldn't be able to break out of it. Or they used really strong shackles, and made it as tight as possible to keep you restrained.

Alec: But now I’m not in them.

Tony: No, you're not in them anymore.

Alec: Okay.

Tony: You feel very weak. You have two points of exhaustion. You are unaware of how much time has passed. The cell is very small. You're actually having a very hard time being comfortable. There's no way you can position yourself where you can fully stretch out your legs. There is no bench, there are no chains on the walls to hold you. There’s not even hay for you to lay on. You're scrunched up against the wall, trying to get as comfortable as possible. Drell, what is going through your head?

Alec: I think the main thing is, he’s definitely worried about the soldier, or the golem you're calling it?

Tony: The iron knight, yeah.

Alec: Yeah, the iron knight. Because he’s already gone up against it once, and he has none of his stuff. So, you know, Drell doesn’t really like to admit when he’s scared, but it’s probably definitely running through his head, at least right now. He doesn’t really see a way out.

Tony: As you sit there in silence, you hear the rattles of chains. You hear some voices down this long hallway that you can’t really make out, because it’s so dark. You hear echoes of footsteps, and you hear two voices talking to each other in Elvish. Do you understand Elvish?

Alec: I do not know.

Tony: You cannot understand what they're saying. They're not yelling in any way. They're talking to each other. But it sounds like they're laughing with evil intent. As if they're making fun of someone behind their back, but saying it loud enough for you to hear it. Then you hear chains wriggle again, and you hear whip sounds, followed by a shrieking caw [imitates whip and scream sounds]. Sounds like somebody’s getting whipped at the other end of the dungeon. We’re gonna pause there. Minnis, Armos. The two of you have this water beating down on you in this porcelain closet as you look down, and there is a naked Kemi Jo[?]. And we return to you in that very moment where Kemi Jo, looking up, not recognizing you instantly, and going, “[imitates screaming] Armos! Help!” Boom. In the sudden chaos of the moment…

Dan: [laughs] I was not ready for this.

Tony: As Kemi Jo yells, the two of you fall out through the shower curtain, as a naked Kemi Jo, who’s conveniently covered in soap in all the right places, trying to hide his private bits, “Armos! Help!” Boom. The shower room door bursts open. A human, standing around 5’10’’, six feet tall, clean-shaven, bursts into the room. He looks like he’s wearing guard armor, but with a Romanesque style to it. His cape bellows as he stands, taking affirmative action in the situation. Lastly, he has a centurion helmet with a red mane, but along the bristles on the side of the helmet in painted yellow, it says “security.” He draws his sword and he points at you two. The sword has an engraving on it saying, “Fortune favors the bold” in all caps. And he yells, “Loose the naked gnome, or suffer at the hands of Artemis!”

Dan: My hands are just up. “We don’t want any trouble. Kemi, is that you?”

Tony: “Oh… No way! Minnis? Armos?”

Dan: “Come here!” I give him a giant hug.

Tony: He hugs you back with one hand, and his other hand is over his privates. “Oh my God, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you! What are you guys doing here?”

Dan: “We know him! We know him! Don’t hurt us, we know him!”

Tony: “Who, who dares touch my naked companion?”

Dan: “That’s a weird way to say that.”

Jared: I was gonna say, “Not me, not me. I’m just trying to get out of here. Just moving by.”

Tony: Reginald, he’s like, “Uh… I didn’t know Minnis had a friend like that almost. This is new to me.” “Reginald, do you know Kemi?” “I don’t recall. Who’s Kemi Jo again?”

Dan: “Oh my God, we’ll talk about this later. Do you see Drell? Is he here.”

Tony: “No. Who’s Drell? I don’t see Drell.” He’s looking around. And Kemi’s hugging you, “Oh my God, Minnis. I barely recognized you for a second. Oh my God. Can I put pants on, please?”

Dan: “Yes. Oh my God, please, yes.”

Tony: “Okay, thanks.” And he turns around, goes back into the shower, rinses himself off real quick, and he puts his clothes back on. And while he’s getting dressed, Artemis is looking at you. And his armor looks very Romanesque, to the point where it looks like he’s cosplaying a little bit, because it’s so out-of-pocket. But his helmet says “security” on it, and it also says “security” on the back of his bellowing cape. And he goes, “How do you know my naked companion?”

Dan: “There’s not a lot of time to explain. We met him back when he was doing some school project, okay? We helped him back in his cave.”

Tony: “Cave. Kemi…” And we see Kemi come out. He’s zipping up his pants. “Yeah, Artemis, he’s cool, man. He’s cool. I promise. They're cool. Where’s your third? Wasn’t there a bigger guy with you, Drell? That was his name, right? Where’s Drell?”

Jared: “Yeah. I don’t know. We saw something crazy happen when we were coming here. It’s kind of a weird story. Where are we?”

Tony: “Well, actually, that's a really good segue. Why are you in the shower? And two, you're at the Sigic[?] college.”

Dan: “Oh my gosh…”

Tony: “Well, you're in the alchemy dormitory at the college, to be precise.”

Dan: “Listen, there’s not a lot of time here. We gotta get back. Armos, we gotta get back, right?”

Jared: “Yeah.“

Tony: “What do you mean? Get back to where? What are you guys talking about?”

Dan: “If only there was enough time to explain every magic and all the items in the world! We gotta go, Armos!”

Jared: “I don’t know what to do…”

Tony: “Artemis sheathes his shortsword, and he walks over to you and goes, “Well, I guess we can all take a breather. Any friend of Kemi Jo is a friend of mine.” And he puts his arm over both your shoulders. “Why don’t we take this conversation out of the shower room, and let the other patrons go back to their nakedly duties.” You hear other gnomes and halflings in the stalls next to him. “Hey, um, listen, we’re trying to wash our privates over here. You think you could take it somewhere else, back to your room?”

Dan: “Is there somewhere private we can go, away from prying eyes?”

Tony: You hear another halfling, “Well I thought this room was private, but apparently not, Kemi.”

Dan: “Oh my God. We gotta hurry. We gotta hurry, okay? This is timely.”

Tony: “Alright. Come with me. Put your jackets on, put your coats on. We’ll go to my dorm room, alright? It’s just across the campus.”

Jared: “Across the campus?”

Tony: “Well, yeah. The bathhouse is not connected to the dormitories. I mean, that's unsanitary.”

Dan: “Oh my gosh, we don’t have time for this.”

Tony: You see Kemi Jo put on a heavy coat as he’s walking out to the lobby of the bathhouse. And as the two of you follow him, you see that it’s snowing heavily outside. It looks like the dead of winter. He goes, “Yeah, it’s just that building over there.” You walk outside, it’s nighttime. The snow is coming down. There’s about a foot of snow on the floor. You would know that this snow is a sign of mid-winter.

Dan: Are there people just walking around?

Tony: You do see people walking around campus, and at a quick glance, as you're walking out into the shoveled pathway, you see this magnificent campus before your eyes. The night sky is beautiful, filled with stars. There are all these dormitory-style houses. In the distance, you see a marketplace. And overlooking the entire campus is this beautiful, shiny building with all these spires that stretch into the sky. The craftsmanship is like nothing you've seen before. It looks close to Elvish-type construction. It looks like a beacon of magic.

Dan: “Oh, God. I wish we were here under better circumstances. Come on, let’s go, let’s go.”

Tony: As you travel down the shoveled path, you see that there’s shovels without anybody using them shoveling the path, keeping the snow off the main roads.

Dan: “Armos, you gotta learn how to do that.”

Jared: “Alright, I’m trying to think this through. I feel like we have to go back in that shower. Is that not your impression?”

Dan: Yeah. We’re following behind, whispering to each other as we’re following the other two. “Armos, I mean, we can’t go right back there, because they might be watching that spot, you know? So, I’m sure wherever we get to…”

Jared: “Time goes by so different here, so…”

Dan: “Armos, I don’t know how it works, we just gotta get somewhere more private. And I think just use another one of those- I don’t wanna use another one, but we gotta get Drell.”

Tony: When you look at the lantern, you notice that it still has oil on it. You notice that a significant amount is gone, but not all.

Dan: “We might have another use in this, huh?”

Jared: “I don’t know what we do here. We need to go back for Drell. I mean, I guess- Where are we gonna get supplies? I just… I don’t even…”

Dan: “We just gotta get away from all these people, do it again, light it up, and get out of here, so we don’t take any of these bystanders.”

Jared: “Oh, okay. That's what you're worried about. Okay. I was like, we can just go right now. We don’t care who sees this.”

Dan: “I just don’t wanna take some random bystander from the bath with us, you know?”

Tony: Artemis is walking next to you guys, kinda keeping his distance, but he’s walking very stoically, with his chest out, and one of his hands is on the hilt of his sword. His chin is up to the sky. It looks like he’s watching over Kemi Jo, as the four of you now walk to a dormitory building. On the outside there is a sign: “alchemist dorms.” It looks like an apartment building, but there’s a lot of vials hanging out from the windows. You see that all the windows for each of the dorms are decorated, very college-like. There’s hanging vials full of party liquid. All of the lanterns have popping confetti in them. You hear people laughing from the various rooms. The chimney is shaped like a giant beaker. It looks like all these people had a crazy time decorating this dorm for the semester. The four of you walk inside. He goes, “My room is just up on the second floor. We can talk in there.” And as the four of you walk to the building, we’re gonna go back to Drell. How are you feeling, man? You're all beat up.

Alec: Yeah. I don’t think Drell’s got his ass kicked like this in a very long time. I don’t think he’s been this tired in a very long time either.

Tony: I feel like Drells is trying to get some type of sleep, but you're having some trouble breathing as is. As you're inspecting your body, you see a massive black and blue wound in your ribs. You're convinced that you might have a broken rib or two.

Alec: “Oh, fuck. It kinda hurts to breathe.”

Tony: And as you're sitting there, you feel a lot of time has passed as you're sitting in your cell. Then, you hear the sound of closing doors. An iron gate, specifically, closes. You hear footsteps coming down the hall. There are three men, and they're wearing Red Guard uniforms, full plate armor with a white tabard, with the sigil of a sun placed on a shield. The symbol of the Red Guard. The three of them approach the gate, but two of them stick behind. The two behind look like guardsmen, and you cannot see their faces. They are wearing full plate helmets. But a heavier-set man approaches you. He’s human, light military cut. He looks like he’s in his 40s, standing at 6’3’’, with a muscular power body build. He’s wearing half plate armor. Wrapped around his shoulder is where his Red Guard sigil is. It looks like he’s wearing a position of power. And he speaks to you. “Well, look who we have here. Now, when I first met you, I didn’t think I would ever see you behind these bars. How long has it been? A few months? Maybe a year even.” And he kneels down, and you recognize his face. It’s [26:08 inaudible].

Alec: I fucking hate this guy.

Tony: Do you say anything to him?

Alec: No, not yet.

Tony: “I see you have caused a lot of trouble. You have the Revenger sent after you. Impressive, truly impressive. But foolish. What could have you done to have the revenger sent after you? Getting into things we shouldn’t have?” What do you do?

Alec: Oh, God, I kinda just… I mean, he’s beat to shit right now. I think Drell is just kinda listening to what he has to say. I don’t really think Drell has the energy to even say anything to him right now.

Tony: “Just stay quiet. Bold, and probably wise.” He takes off his gauntlets and reveals his battered hands, scarred up from knuckle to wrist. He takes out a key, opens the gate, and he walks into your cell and looks down at you. He cracks his knuckles. He delivers a fist straight to your jaw. Pick you up by your cloak, and brings you close to his face. “Now, we can do this for as long as you want. I frankly enjoy doing this. I just wanna know, what have you been up to recently? Why are you here? Why would you come to Raven’s Rest?”

Alec: “I really like the jerky.”

Tony: Boom. Punches you across the jaw, where his fist goes across your face into the stone wall, cracking it. “I agree. The jerky ain’t half bad when seasoned properly. But I thought maybe the three of you would have stepped down and stopped pursuing these foolish acts when I put that dagger through your cow friend’s belly. So, let me ask you again: what are you doing here?

Alec: “I just have a timeshare here. I’ve been trying to get my days blocked out.”

Tony: He picks you up and he throws you out of the cell, and the two guards step aside as you are laying on the floor. He walks over to you, picks you up by the back of your head, and slams it into the ground. You're gonna take 17 points of damage as he begins to lay into you, slamming your head against the floor. “I’m gonna give you one more chance before I put you on the table. Why are you here?”

Alec: So, I think Drell is just not gonna say anything to him. And I think he’s just not gonna answer him.

Tony: He stares at you in your beaten silence. He goes, “Fine, have it your way.” And he drags you down the hall against the bloody cobblestone floor, as you get a better sense of where you are. You see that there are cells on both sides of the wall as you are being dragged. In the cell in front of you, you see a cloaked halfling. He’s wearing a green cloak, and nothing but undergarments. He is hunched over, holding onto the bars as he’s watching you getting beat by [29:23 inaudible]. Very weakly- he looks very bloodied. He looks like he’s bleeding, and he’s holding a wound on his abdomen. You recognize him as Bandabarris[?]. As you are dragged through the halls, you go further and further down the dungeon walls, and you see cells filled with Kenkus. You also see some cells filled with fallen people, who look like they're starving to death. They look very ill. They haven't moved, and they have very pale faces, and they're just staring off into the void. You're eventually brought to a table where they throw you on, and they chain you by your arms and legs, and then begin to stretch you, like one of those stretching torture tables. After a few moments of him repeating the questions, you hear him say, “It makes no sense to me, but your silence is formidable. Now, why the council would not want to slay you immediately is beyond me. Especially after getting the Revenger, of all things, sent on you. But no matter. Your execution by hanging will be held shortly.” And he gets really close to your face, and he goes, “It should be fun too. Unlike executing a fallen, you won’t instantly vanish when you die. The people can watch you suffer.” He stands back up, looks down at you. “It sends them a better message anyway.” And he walks away. He talks to the guards, “After you're done with him, throw him back in the cell. We’ll be back soon.” Some time passes, and you go unconscious. We’re gonna go back to Minnis and Armos.

Dan: “I don't need to know about every book here. I just wanna get into the room. I’m sorry, we don’t have time for this.“

Tony: “You gotta see- Oh, man, this is a wild one.”

Dan: “We’ll talk about it later. We’ll talk about it later!”

Tony: You finally get to Kemi Jo’s dorm room, and Artemis is right there with you. And the three of you walk in, and it is a very small room. It looks like it’s meant to house a gnome. Minnis, you fit in there fine, but Armos, you have to scrunch over a little bit. And Artemis crouches as well, as the four of you get in this very low-ceiling dorm room. There is a bed along the wall right next to a window with a large desk filled with papers, and there’s a lot of chairs set up. The way the chairs are set up, it looks like he has friends over pretty commonly. And on this bed, you see along the wall there’s a bunch of pictures, and Minnis, he even has the picture you drew him from when you guys first met, hung up right there above his head post. He sits down at the edge of the bed, and he pulls three rolly chairs up for you guys.

Dan: Rolly chairs?

Tony: “Alright, let’s get to the bottom of this. Take a seat, relax. Artemis, you can relax.” And you can see Artemis is sitting very stoically in a guard sitting position. And he just drops his shoulders a little bit. He goes, “Ah, much better.” Still looking very stoic.

Dan: I love Artemis already.

Tony: “Alright. Well, guys, what’s going on? Why were you in my shower?”

Dan: “Armos, you got the lantern ready?

Jared: “Yeah.”

Dan: “Yeah, sorry to leave you so soon after seeing you after so long. There’s so much I wanna tell you, but you're gonna have to leave the room. Otherwise, you're coming with us to Shadowfell. I’m just gonna lay it out there.”

Tony: “Shadowfell?”

Dan: “Yup.”

Tony: “What are you guys doing in Shadowfell?”

Dan: “There’s not enough time to explain!”

Jared: “Drell is there. We followed somebody there. We need to go back for Drell. He’s in trouble.”

Dan: “Yeah, that sums it up pretty well. Thanks, Armos.”

Tony: He looks at Artemis. They share a look, and Artemis shrugs his shoulders.

Dan: “Did you get my letters, Kemi?”

Tony: “Yeah, I got some of them. But you stopped sending them seven months ago.”

Dan: “Wait, what was the last thing I sent you? Was it when we got to the Lucius Farm?”

Tony: “Yeah, actually.” And he goes over to his stack of papers, pulls out your letter, and…

Dan: “Oh my God. Seven months. Oh no. Oh God!” Minnis is just panicking. I’m shaking.

Tony: Reginald goes over to Armos. “What’s a month? Is that a food?”

Jared: “Yeah, yeah. You know what? You're gonna eat all the months and days.”

Dan: “Listen, if you're not out of this room in the next 30 seconds, you're coming to Shadowfell with us. We gotta light this lantern now.”

Tony: “Alright. I definitely don’t wanna go over there. So, Artemis, okay, let’s go. Out, out, out.” And Artemis goes, “No, I kinda wanna see this.” “No! Out, out, out…”

Dan: “I man, Artemis, if you wanna stay, that's cool, but…”

Tony: “I mean, I’ll go if Kemi Jo goes.” “I ain’t going.”

Jared: “I mean, if you think about it, we did save your life once. I think it’s time to repay.”

Dan: “He’s probably learned a lot since we’ve seen him last. Seven months? My goodness.”

Tony: “I have gone to my 400-level classes now. I am in my junior year.”

Dan: “Alright. Kemi, is it winter shield, yon winter break?”

Tony: “No, we’re past that. Actually, winter shield was a couple of weeks ago.”

Dan: “Listen, if you wanna help, Drell’s in trouble, and he needs us.”

Tony: “Eh…”

Dan: “15 seconds.”

Tony: “I’m not a fighter, man. You know this. I’m an alchemist. I can make potions and stuff.”

Dan: “What do you think, Armos? He helped us pretty well last time. You're a support guy, Kemi. You're a support guy.”

Tony: “I don’t know too much about Shadowfell, man. I got a friend who’s a Shadowfell enthusiast. That's about it.”

Dan: “Wait, what? Do they know a lot about Shadowfell.”

Tony: “I mean, yeah. They're like a fanatic.”

Jared: “Where is this guy?”

Dan: Yeah, Minnis just looks at Armos. Like, what are we doing?

Jared: I was trying to convince him. It’s gonna take a while to convince him, and I don’t know what to do. I feel like we’re wasting more time. If it was seven months that we were gone, in that period of time, I feel like any more time that we waste is… Drell’s more and more in trouble. I think we hit the lantern and get out of here.

Dan: “We’ll be back soon, I hope.”

Jared: “Do you have anything for us that could help us on our trip?”

Tony: “I think I got something. Hold on.” He starts rummaging through his stuff.

Jared: Good call.

Tony: Yeah, one of you guys roll me a d20.

Dan: It’s a 12.

Tony: So, he’s rummaging through his stuff, and he’s throwing out empty vials, and he goes, “Well, I got this thing I’ve been working on.” And it’s a tube that has this green whitish liquid in it. “It’s like a lucky potion I’ve been working on. If you want it…”

Jared: “Yeah.”

Tony: Flicks you over the vial, and the vial flies over across the room and you catch the vial. And he goes, “It’s called the philter of luck. You drink it, and you get lucky.”

Dan: “Does it last a while, or is it like a one-use kind of thing?”

Tony: “It lasts about an hour after you drink it.”

Dan: “Oh, alright. We’ll drink it and tell you what it does.”

Jared: “Alright.” We give the two of them a high-five, and be like, “Okay, it’s going down. Get out of here.”

Dan: “Nice to meet you, Artemis. I’ll see you soon, buddy.”

Jared: “Yeah, we’ll come back, come visit.”

Tony: “It was a pleasure to meet you, new best friends.”

Dan: “Oh my God.”

Tony: “Come around any time.” “Yeah, come around, just not in my shower.” And the two leave the room.

Dan: “Armos? Armos, did you hear what he said?” And then Armos lights the… “Did you hear what he said? Best friend.”

Tony: The lantern begins to glow as the green flame is illuminated within the Fel Auburn, and reality begins to shift as the fresh, vibrant wood around you becomes old and decrepit as it slowly turns back into Shadowfell. And we’re gonna cut there, and go back to Drell. Drell, you are back at your cell, beaten and tortured. You're gonna take an additional eight points of damage after being tortured by the guards that were there, and they threw you back in the cell. Up against the corner of the tiny cell, trying to regain your composure, you still hear the guards laughing in Elvish. Then you hear footsteps of them fading away, and then you hear the closing of an iron gate. And then, you hear a familiar voice from across your way, in the cell where you saw Bandabaras. He’s coughing. “[coughs] Drell? Drell, is that you?”

Alec: “Bendo. Long time no see.”

Tony: “It’s really been a minute, huh?”

Alec: “Not gonna lie. I thought you fucking left us to die.”

Tony: “Fuck you too.”

Alec: “But I’m glad to see that wasn’t the case.”

Tony: “I wish it could be under better circumstances. They caught me during the heist. When I went to Shadowfell, they were waiting for us. I don’t know how they got that information, but they got the jump on me. Why are you here?”

Alec: “We were… Minnis, Armos, and I were fighting some guy by the name of Julius Kendrick, and he decided to try to run away from us, and he dragged us into Shadowfell.”

Tony: “A bunch of cowards.”

Alec: “Yeah, he’s a little bitch. [coughs]”

Tony: “So, this is why we didn’t want you guys to come with us initially, because the Fell is flooded with these guys. It’s like a breeding ground for these cult members. So, that's why I ran the shards, or planned on running the shards, but they caught me before we could do it. And I guess they were waiting for us to actually get them. But I gave them a fight before.”

Alec: “So, how long have you been here?”

Tony: “I don’t even know. Time is so different here.”

Alec: Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Because, I guess, on the material plane, he’s been gone for a really long time, right? So…

Tony: Yes. It’s Arc 2.

Alec: So, how long has that been in the material plane?

Tony: From Dilmore to the end of Lelouch, about three months. Because Arc 2 started summer, and the end of Arc 3 was at the tail end of summer.

Alec: “Before we got dragged into Shadowfell, it was about three months since the heist.”

Tony: “I think that's the best outcome. That's not too bad.” He coughs more, and you see some blood splatter outside of his cell. “I’m gonna level with you, Drell. I ain’t got much time here. I’ve been kinda holding on, trying to find a way out, but it’s no good.” And he shows you a wound, and it’s a really nasty wound that hasn’t healed. And through the shadows, you see this open wound that's just calloused over, that's just slowly dripping blood. “I’m gonna tell you something to give you a little hope.” He walks over to the other side of the cell. He removes a loose brick, and he shows you a vial of lantern oil. “I was able to snatch one of these before they got me. I’ve been hiding it here, in case I was ever able to get a lantern. But they don’t come down here with lanterns.” And he slides the vial back, and moves the stone. “They’re gonna mess with you down here, and they're gonna try to get what they want. I always knew you looked familiar, Drell. I think we’ve met once before, a long time ago.”

Alec: “Before the heist?”

Tony: “Yeah, way before the heist. Is your dad Brax?”

Alec: “Oh fuck, not again. Yeah, my dad’s Brax.”

Tony: “He was a good man. He was a good man.”

Alec: “You knew my dad?”

Tony: “Yeah, I knew him. I even met you when you were so small. You became a big fucker.”

Alec: “What can I say? Got it from my parents.”

Tony: “I’m gonna go shut my eyes for a bit, but… They're gonna try to mess with you down here. Just keep that in mind. They're gonna try to do everything they can to get information out of you, and they're not gonna let you go.”

Alec: Can I… After I’ve been tortured and stuff, can I do a quick inspection of my jail cell, to see the integrity of everything?

Tony: Sure.

Alec: Because if he removed a brick, I just wanna see what mine looks like.

Tony: Yeah. Go ahead and make me an investigation check.

Alec: Fuck. That's a 13.

Tony: 13 will find something. As you weakly examine your cell, you're dragging your hand across the bricks, trying to find anything. Your cell has no windows, but you can guess by the dampness that you're probably underground. And as you run your fingers through the brine of the bricks, in the back of the cell you feel a loose one. And you're able to pull it out, but you break the brick in the process. It’s not like a secret compartment that Bandabaras has. Then you hear a little [makes animal noise].

Alec: The sound - can I get an idea of how big the thing is?

Tony: Probably rodent-size. It doesn’t sound like a big beast or anything, it sounds like there was something in the walls.

Alec: Okay. So, I’ll go ahead and patch it up for now, but loosely, just in case I wanna come back to it, it doesn't take a lot of effort.

Tony: You try to shove the broken brick back, and the sound muffles. And we’re gonna fade out from you, and we’re gonna go back to Minnis and Armos. As Shadowfell begins to form around you, you appear back at Raven’s Rest. but not in the location where you went before. You actually find yourself way further out from the building. As a matter of fact, across town, across the main road, you find yourself in an old tattered windmill with a large hole that overlooks the entire town, roughly. The windmill is not spinning, but you see that below you are fallen workers towing the lands of this deathly, rotten wheat, farming what they can, with Red Dawn members stationed all around the farm. You overlook into the city, and you do see the destroyed building. You see smoke rising up where Drell was snatched, where you guys originally used the lantern. And they are patrolling the streets. You see the Revenger walking down the streets, surveying the town. He does not look very far from your location. He’s near the inn, which is a couple of city blocks away from the windmill.

Dan: And we can see the guardhouse from here?

Tony: Yeah, you see the giant barracks. It’s very looming. It looks like a small castle. It can probably hold off a siege. What are the two of you doing?

Dan: Falling onto the floor, after being transported.

Tony: Your stomach- you're getting used to the travel sickness now, as this is your third time jumping. But you feel like your stomach is not doing so hot. You also notice that, instantly, your purified food that you have is now completely rotten.

Dan: “Oh, man, I wish Kemi Jo gave us a locate person potion. That would have been nice.”

Tony: [imitates throwing up] Reginald is throwing up. “This is terrible.”

Dan: “Sid, how are you doing?”

Tony: [makes noises] Pebbles falling out.

Dan: “Alright.”

Jared: We’re upstairs. How upstairs is it? Is it enough to look and try to see if there’s any entrances into the castle from where we’re at?

Tony: Sure. So, you are on the third floor of this windmill. You're at the very top. At the top if this windmill is a spiral staircase going down. You can kinda see everything. At the top of this windmill, there’s the giant destroyed hole, very weathered. Go ahead and make me an investigation or perception check, as you are now looking at the city and trying to get some detail.

Jared: A dirty 20.

Dan: I got a 17.

Tony: With a 17 and dirty 20, you guys get the same information. This barracks, this castle structure is up on a hill, separated from the rest of the town. The hill is about- extending the whole barracks ground, about 50 feet above the rest of the town, with one singular staircase going up to the dark iron double doors, which looks like to be the main entrance. You don’t see any other main gates. You know that, looking at the barracks, there are four main towers, one on each of the corners. They look like giant guard towers. On the eastern side of it, the right side from where you're looking, it looks like an exitway. There is a forge at the base of the mountain on the side of the castle wall, and it looks like it’s exporting this hot material. It looks like something is being produced inside the barracks, and it’s letting out this refuse, this hot refuse. You also see that, overlooking- you can’t really see into the campus, but you do see the double iron gates open as they're actively pushing the blood ore vein through.

Jared: Well, in that case, I think we should go through the front. We should follow that thing. The blood ore.

Dan: “We don’t have much of a choice. I mean, we saw that thing,” and I’m eyeing this giant metal beast, “We saw him take Drell, and he’s prowling around now, so Drell ain’t there anymore. He must be in the barracks, right? We’re going where the ore is, I guess.”

Jared: “Yeah. I think we can sneak through this spire thing over here, but…”

Dan: “Let’s start there, alright?”

Jared: “Alright.” You said this windmill is surrounded by guards.

Tony: Yeah. So, when you look down, you can see that there are two guards at the base of the windmill’s entrance on the outside. You also see about 2-3 guards surveying the grounds as these Kenkus and Fallen are towing them. It looks like they're watching them work.

Dan: “You wanna be a gas again, Armos?”

Jared: “I do. I actually do. If we wanna be the cloudy boys, we could go…”

Dan: “Well, I will not be a cloud. Just you.”

Tony: “Hey, why can’t he be a cloud? Why do we have to be the cloud? You can summon darkness. You should do the darkness thing, Armos.

Dan: “Oh, no.”

Tony: “Let’s do the darkness thing. Why try to hide, if they just can’t see?”

Dan: “Cloud - inconspicuous. Big giant ball of magical darkness moving across a field?”

Tony: “Why don’t you be a cloud? He’s a child.”

Jared: “Let’s go with the cloud idea.”

Dan: “Cloud it is.” Poof!

Tony: “Wait, why isn’t he a cloud?”

Jared: “Don’t think about it too much.” And then he turned me into a cloud.

Dan: “Good job, Sid.” And I give Sid a high-five. And Reginald is making all these hand motions as he’s trying to explain. Alright, over and out. And we’re trying- we walk- I mean, he’s just floating. And we spend our time sneaking down the windmill.

Tony: So, you travel down the windmill. I need both of you to make me stealth checks. Armos, with advantage. So, how are you trying to get out of the windmill? There’s one way in, and that's the main entrance, where there are two guards.

Dan: It’ll be very easy. If I look out the window and there are vines, I’m climbing down that. Otherwise, nah. Yeah. if there are vines, I’ll just climb down that. Otherwise, through whatever the door is at the bottom.

Tony: I definitely feel like you could climb down the side of it. It’s broken inside. There’s enough wreckage there for you to hold onto. Absolutely. So, you're gonna make me a stealth check, and an acrobatics check.

Dan: Better for stealth, but now I have to do other checks. Caveat.

Tony: I mean, you could just float out the side too. You don’t need to go through the front door.

Jared: Cool, I’m floating.

Tony: Armos, you float down. What did you get for your stealth check?

Jared: 15.

Tony: You float out from the hole in the top of the windmill, and you slowly fall. And this is gonna take you a moment, because you can only fall at the rate of 10 feet. You are about 40 feet up. Minnis, you're gonna make me a stealth check and an acrobatics check.

Dan: Stealth check was a 30… Acrobatics check was a nat 20.

Tony: Okay, alright. Showing off. You saunter down the side of this broken windmill with ease, undetected, and you roll across the dirt path, you find yourself back to the wall of this large building. The windows are boarded up, but you hear inhabitants inside of it. You can hear people walking around, but you're not sure of the activities that they're doing. You do hear the sounds of metal clinking. Armos, make me another stealth check as you reach the ground in your gaseous form.

Jared: 21.

Tony: Perfect. You meet up with Minnis in your gaseous form across the street, as you are sneaking along. We’re gonna cut from there, we’re gonna go back to Drell. Drell, you awaken from a slumber. You managed to get some sleep, and you awaken in your cell. You're not sure how much time has passed, but you do not feel exhausted anymore, you are just in pain. But there’s something in the cell with you now. Towards the back of the cell, you see yourself that you're against the cage of the cell, where you would walk in. in the back, in the dark, shadowy corner, there is a small wooden crate. The crate looks a bit damaged and worn, but it definitely wasn’t there before.

Alec: “Oh, God. I know Minnis doesn’t like opening random crates, but I think we’re gonna have to try to open this.” And I guess I kinda crawl over to it, and see if I can open it and look at what’s inside.

Tony: You look at the crate, and it’s nailed shut on all sides. It’s not like there’s a definite opening to it. How would you like to try to open it?

Alec: Pry one of the top boards off, I guess? Or I’ll look for a loose board anywhere along the upper sides, and I’ll just go from there.

Tony: As you run your fingers along the top of the crate, you try to pull one of the boards off, and [starts making animal noises] - the top of its lid is teeth and a large tongue. It is a mimic, and it starts freaking out [animal noises]. And two beady eyes pop out from the top of the box. And it’s looking at you. [animal noises] And it’s looking left and right, and it begins to gnaw on the iron bars as it’s looking around, and then it looks back at you.

Alec: “I was fucking right.”

Tony: You see it move. It doesn’t grow any limbs, it’s moving like a box would, corner by corner, nudging itself along. And it has these big, big eyes, and this long tongue, with tiny baby teeth.

Alec: Did it look like it was working when it was gnawing on the metal bars?

Tony: Give me a perception check.

Alec: That's a nat fucking 20.

Tony: Oh, baby. You see the tiniest bit of steam rising from the iron bars. Nothing changed about them, but you feel some heat from it. But it starts to get closer to you.

Alec: I start chewing on the bars to see if it’ll do the same thing.

Tony: You start chewing on the bars as you jump past it. Go ahead and give me a performance check.

Alec: Okay. “Come here, little mimic. Chew on the bars just like me.” Oh my God, I got a nat fucking 1.

Tony: You go to reach for the mimic, and it tackles you, and you slam up against the crate as it starts to lick you. Not bite you. The massive tongue just drags from your chest up to your face like a massive dog. And then it gives you these big, puppy doe eyes. You're gonna take seven points of acid damage as it’s licking you, but you get the sense — still on that 20 — that it’s not licking you in a harmful way, it’s trying to be friendly towards you, but it just doesn’t realize the effect it’s having on you. And you feel this small burning trail up from your chest to your face. Like a dog trying to say hello to you walking through the door. You notice that the brick that you took out before is completely smashed onto the floor.

Alec: Can I look to see where it came from? Like, look into the wall?

Tony: You go over to the wall, and this thing is following you around. It’s trying to gnaw at your ankle to try to get your attention. You're looking at the loose brick hole, and you feel like there’s some space in there, that something really tiny can crawl through.

Alec: So, what I’ll do is, I’ll just turn around and look at the mimic. “Hey, little buddy.” And I’ll try to avoid its tongue and pat it on its head, the top of the crate.

Tony: Give me an animal handling check, please.

Dan: Okay. I think I’m actually kinda good at this. An 11.

Tony: You go to pat it gently on its head, and it snaps at you. And you begin to pet it. It’s letting you pet it on its head. It begins to purr. It seems friendly towards you.

Alec: Can I see if I can start digging away at where he came from, trying to make the hole bigger, the one he came from?

Tony: Make me an investigation check to see if you're able to do it.

Alec: I literally have a -1 to investigation, and I rolled another fucking nat 1, so I go a zero.

Dan: I just saw a zero pop up.

Tony: You cannot figure out, especially in this darkness, how this thing actually got in here.

Alec: “This place must have been built by the Property Brothers. This thing is immaculate.”

Tony: You turn around, and it’s beginning to gnaw on the cell.

Alec: “Okay, that's what I wanted. Come on, little buddy.”

Tony: And it begins to eat, and it’s trying to eat at the iron. It looks like it’s feeding off it. And then it goes [animal noises], and then it turns around and looks at you, and it gives out another mimicky[sic] yawn. And it walks over to you, and then turns back into a full wooden box.

Alec: I assume… Can Drell put it together, since he was taking acid damage, that the acid would also be what’s working on the metal?

Tony: Yes.

Alec: He would be like, “Hey, you in there?” And I’m gonna just tap him and try to see if I can gently wake him up again.

Tony: You see one eye pop at the top of the crate, and it looks up at you. And it looks tired. [animal noises] And it’s trying to nuzzle up against you.

Alec: “Fuck. I hate being such a good guy.” The last thing I wanna do is piss something else off and hurt it, and I’m trapped in a cage with it. Alright, well, I guess I’m just gonna let it sleep for at least a little bit, and see if it has more energy later.

Tony: Okay. So, you let it sleep, and we’re going to fade back to Minnis and Armos, as you snuggle up with your new little mimic.

Alec: “I’m gonna call you Boxy.”

Tony: Minnis, Armos. As the two of you are floating through alleyways…

Dan: “This is weird.” And I’m crouch-walking inside of Armos’ cloud. “Never speak of this again, Armos.

Tony: Both of you give me a stealth check, as you're sneaking towards the side of the mountain where this barracks is sitting on, towards the forge.

Jared: 22.

Dan: 36.

Jared: Wow.

Tony: The two of you have managed to slip past some guards carefully, taking your time moving in Armos’ slow state. On the bottom of this mountain- so the barracks is sitting on the top of a hill, and the hill is 50-60 feet up to keep the barracks above the rest of the town. But on this base level, there is an exit of a forge, and there are all these crates. And out from the forge, like a conveyor belt, is all this hot run-off. It looks like it’s not being used, and it’s being poured into barrels. And you see some workers, some Fallen shovel them in, and trying to remove the refuse from the floor. And on the other side, you do see another exit where there are crates of cannonballs being packaged and boxed up. You see cannonballs coming out of that conveyor belt. You see Fallen boxing those up. On either side of those, you do see Red Dawn guards watching over them.

Dan: I’m still inside the cloud like, “Okay, Armos. You can hear me. You go the direction you want, and I’ll follow you. If you wanna keep going, go forward. If you wanna do something else, go another way.

Jared: What did the bridge look like the last time we saw it?

Tony: The main gate? Blood ore vein was being transported. But in the time that you were sneaking, the gates have been closed, and the ore has been transported inside.

Jared: Damn. Well, we’ve got no choice. So, we head towards the forge.

Dan: You wanna go the lava way, or do you wanna go the cannonball way?

Jared: Which way do you wanna go? Because I can go lava way. I’m pretty immune to fire for the most part, so…

Dan: There’s a way to go on there without touching the lava though, right?

Tony: So, it’s really hot rocks and refuse. So, yes, you could, but it’s a conveyor belt coming out, so you'll have to do a series of checks here to try to go through, but you may definitely step on…

Dan: I’m fine with that. That's the more fun way, let’s do the more fun way.

Tony: I’m gonna need you to make me an additional stealth check as you try to wait for the guards to look away and sneak past the Fallen as they are working on these lines.

Dan: I got a 34.

Jared: 13.

Tony: That's with advantage?

Jared: No, wait, I can use my feet. I roll a d10.

Tony: What’s it called?

Jared: Dark one’s own luck. When you make an ability check or saving throw, use this feature and add one d10 to your roll. 17.

Tony: That's much better than a 13. The two of you manage to sneak up through the fire-hot conveyor belt at what’s supposed to be an exit of a forge, and you look inside, and it is about ten cubic feet. You can get in there, but you have to crouch under. And all this hot refuse is coming out, slowly being poured. As the guards are not looking in your direction, you make a distraction with the Fallen, and they lazily look away, and you slip into the fiery hot shaft. Damn. The fiery hot shaft, making it out of sight. I’m gonna need you to make an acrobatics check as you are trying to dodge this hot refuse on the conveyor belt.

Dan: Do you have any inspiration? I got a 2. From a two to a nat 20, that's what I like to see.

Tony: You lose your footing for but a second, but you manage to hug the sides of the conveyor belt. You're scooting along with your hooves, as Armos is just blocking your vision, as you two are occupying the same space. As the two of you are going through the forge, we’re gonna cut back over to Drell. Drell, some time has passed. You're hanging out with your mimic pet, and to the point where you're talking to it. And it’s just looking at you. It’s fascinated by you.

Alec: “It’s like, Reginald thinks he’s so cool, and I don’t know why. Barbos has Reginald, and Minnis has Sid, and my horse left me, and… It wasn’t even my fault.”

Tony: It makes wooden box noises.

Alec: “Okay. So, I need your help, Boxy. I need your help getting through this door. Can you help me do that?

Tony: [imitates mimic noise]

Alec: “Alright. I’m gonna hold you, and you just lick away, or chew away, or do whatever you have to do.” I hold it up to where the port is for the key, and the actual mechanism of the gate.

Tony: He begins to lick and chew away as he’s feasting on the iron bars, and they do begin to corrode. Some time passes, and Bandabaras has not approached the cell, even with the noise and you talking to your new friend. You haven't seen or heard him in a while.

Alec: I guess I’ll yell over to him, like whisper-yell. Just say, “Bando, are you there?”

Tony: No answer.

Alec: “If you didn’t know, this is Drell.” Okay. I guess… “I’ll just have to check on him when we get the fuck out of here.” I just keep helping Boxy work on the door.

Tony: Okay. So, you hold up Boxy, and he begins to corrode away the iron mechanism. You see it start to melt in his mouth, and it starts to come away as the acid drips down the bars. It’s now doing noticeable damage to it.

Alec: So, since it’s weak, can I try to kick it open?

Tony: Yes. This will make noise, though.

Alec: Okay. I guess I’ll just maybe try to see- I’ll probably just let Boxy keep going at it for a little bit longer, until it’s pretty weak. And then maybe I won’t have to kick it. Maybe I can just give it a little bit of force and not make too much noise.

Tony: As Boxy begins to gnaw on the iron gate, the mechanism begins to clink and fold within itself as it’s melting away. And you feel the iron gates jostling. And as the gates jostle, it’s becoming quite louder, as you're trying to rattle it open as quietly as you can. And you hear footsteps coming down the dungeon halls. And as quick as you try to move Boxy away, two guards catch you in the act of trying to break free. They speak Elvish to each other, and they go, “What do you think you're doing? Are you trying to leave?” And they laugh at each other, and they approach the gate. They kick open the gate. Make me a strength saving throw as the gate is kicked onto you as they bumrush the gate as Boxy’s eating.

Alec: It’s a 14.

Tony: The gate is knocked down onto you as you fall back into the back of the dungeon cell, because you failed that strength check. And you see Boxy get knocked onto the floor, up onto its head, and it’s whimpering a little bit. It’s trying to stand itself back up, but it’s just a wooden box shuffling in place. He goes, “When did we get mimics? Do we ever have mimics down here? I hate these things.” “Oh, you've never had one in your house, maybe? They're common around here.” And he picks it up with his spear, as he stabs Boxy.

Alec: “No!”

Tony: And Boxy begins to squirm. He throws Boxy into the middle of the dungeon cell floor. And the other guard turns to you and drags you by your cloak. Go ahead and make me a contested strength check, as he’s now forcing you out into the dungeon floor.

Alec: It’s a 6.

Tony: He drags you out into the floor.

Alec: “That’s right, pick on a little box. You piece of shit.”

Tony: The guard kneels down as the other one is stabbing it with a spear. He goes, “Did you make a friend down here? Did you really think you can make friends down here?”

Alec: “Well, your mom just left, so I had to make another one.”

Tony: “Oh, my mom just left? Did you penetrate her, like this?” And he stabs you in the chest.

Alec: [laughs] Fuck, that's good. Damn it. “That’s a good one, fuck. I was supposed to make the penetration joke next.”

Tony: You take nine points of damage as he stabs you in your abdomen with a short sword. You are now on the floor. You are now bleeding. As the other guard is stabbing your pet mimic, as he’s stabbing Boxy on the floor, the guard that just stabbed you picks you up, and you see his face, and he is indeed a Drow elf. And he pushes you all the way into the back of the dungeon hallway. You trip over iron chains. There are balls and chains on the floor, there are skulls on the floor as well. And there is a window right above you that looks to the outside. It looks like it’s looking outside of the mountain that the barracks is sitting on. And you can see a little bit of moonlight in the sky. You look back at the guard, and this guard is continuing to stab Boxy over and over again, and it is flailing in pain. [imitates Boxy noises] In a last ditch effort, it looks at you, Drell, its big, sad, doe, painful eyes. It tries to use its massive tongue to drag itself towards you, and it gets stabbed one last time as you see the light fade from its eyes. It begins to melt away into this purple ooze jello. And you look up, and you see this guard standing over you, and he stabs you again. He goes, “I’m not gonna kill you just yet, but you will end up like your little friend there. And you look up through the little window, and you see the moon shine in, and you begin to rage. Can you describe this burning, hot rage for me real quick?

Alec: Well, you kinda touched on it already for me, but… You know, Drell, first he had his horse, and his horse was all of a sudden taken from him. And finally, he thought he had another friend that was gonna help him in need. And one thing Drell hates probably the most in the world is a bunch of bullies, and two of them just took one of the closest things he could think of as a friend besides Minnis and Armos away from him, right in front of him. So, he’s definitely pretty pissed.

Tony: As you gaze upon the moon, losing yet another companion, this fiery hot rage boils within you, as your amber eyes turn blood red, and the pupils begin to change from human to something lizard-like, as your nose becomes scaly with whiskers. We’re gonna cut back over to Minnis and Armos real quick.

Dan: What the fuck?

Tony: Armos, Minnis. You two are in the middle of the hottest situation you've ever been. There is coal constantly going through between your legs, Minnis, as you are on this conveyor belt. Go ahead and make me another acrobatics check.

Dan: What was it, an acrobatics check?

Tony: Yes.

Dan: 21.

Tony: You are dodging this hot refuse as you go along the conveyor belt, but you finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. You see where this is coming out, and you see that there are these Fallen guys shoveling this hot refuse onto the conveyor belt. Armos, in your gaseous state, you are still concealing Minnis, but you know if you keep going this way, the fallen are gonna see you come out the other end of the shaft. What are the two of you doing?

Dan: Moving on, I think. I don’t know where else to go.

Jared: I don’t care about no Fallen.

Dan: Yeah, we follow that light.

Tony: You travel down this conveyor belt as the rocky cavern wall begins to become stone, as you reach the other end of this forge structure. And you burst out the other end as you hop off this hot molten rock, and you see the Fallen stop in place. And you see yourself, you're in the courtyard of the barracks. You're along the eastern wall as you come out the other end of the tunnel, and you see that there’s all these barrels of hot refuse that were dragged in from another location that these guys are just shoveling out, like they're part of a routine. And then you see guards from the center of the courtyard, and there are a ton of training dummies there, there’s armor racks - it looks like a big training ground, the area you just came out to. This area looks multi-purpose. There are buildings within the courtyard, and you see this massive tower all the way in the northwest corner, where it looks like somebody who is running this would probably be in that large tower there. And then, the ground begins to rumble. Boom! The ground erupts, and the dust covers the air. We’re gonna go back to Drell. Drell, as the rage boils within you, you are staring at the moon, and you transform again. But not into a tiny mouse. No. You turn into a massive beast standing at 50 feet tall. You burst through the dungeon ceiling, and your head sticks out of the courtyard. Minnis and Armos, you see this wide dragon head with mouse-like features, with red burning eyes, with short stubby arms.

Dan: What the fuck…

Tony: As this large dragon-rat-like body bursts out of the ground with molten hot lava, fire fused with electricity begins to drip out of his mouth, and he stands up as this giant rat-dinosaur steps into the courtyard, raging. Two massive hind legs with very short, stubby hands, standing at 50 feet tall, and weighing two tons, standing before you is Drell of the Jazzkinborn. As you hear slight notes, slight jazzy saxophone notes coming out of his brass nostrils. And that is where we’re gonna end this week’s session.

Dan: Very bassy notes.

Jared: I thought it was gonna be rock and roll.

Dan: A bass clarinet is what I’m hearing.

Alec: “It’s gonna be epic.”

Tony: Drell, I gave you a character sheet, by the way. If you would like to go read that character sheet.

Alec: I’m actually looking at it right now. It’s pretty spicy. I might save it for the next episode. It’s pretty spicy. But who knows, maybe we’ll talk about it.

Dan: I can’t believe you gave him a pet mimic and just killed it immediately.

Tony: I know, I know. Just when he thought he had his own pet too. It’s just so fucked up. I'll tell you what I was gonna do in the aftershow. We can talk about that for sure. I had a game plan, but…

Jared: Things went vertical.

Dan: Pretty much.

Jared: That's pretty great.

Tony: Man, I had fun creating this character. I was on the fence about it. We’ll talk about it in the aftershow, but yeah. Drell has another transformation, baby.

Alec: No power over any of them, but it just happens, which is… It works.

Jared: Soon you'll figure it out.

Tony: Now, as far as spicy episodes go, I think that's one of them, boys. Don’t know how you guys are feeling.

Alec: That was a good episode. I liked it. It got a lot done. I liked the bounce back- the multi-storytelling. I think you did a really good job with that, being able to handle two storylines at once.

Dan: It’s like an onion, it has layers.

Alec: It’s like a light switch.

Tony: Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

Dan: All I wanna do is play this out now. I can’t wait to play this out. I hate that we have to wait now.

Tony: Looks like you might be in a giant fight soon.

Alec: Yeah.

Dan: I have so much to say about this in the aftershow. I’ve been holding it in all episode. There are so many things I want to say.

Tony: I’ll try to share the picture. It is AI art, and I hate to promote AI art, but it’s the only way I can get this onto paper.

Jared: I was gonna say, I think for DND-related stuff, I think AI art is perfect, because you can create homebrew content, and then still…

Tony: It’s not like we’re trying to sell it, we’re just trying to give you good imagery.

Jared: Exactly.

Dan: Yeah, for us the player is not being used as marketing stuff. It’s awesome.

Jared: Pretty great.

Dan: Just gives you great reference to bring to the actual artist, you know what I mean?

Tony: Oh, man. Is there anything you guys wanna talk about before we close it out? I mean, there’s a lot to talk about in the aftershow for sure. But is there anything that you wanna bring up now.

Jared: If you guys haven't been following up with the Last Of Us, it’s pretty good.

Alec: I know, I’m one episode behind.

Dan: I disagree. I have hot takes about it.

Jared: Okay.

Alec: Aftershow drama.

Dan: Yeah, possibly.

Jared: Alright boys, I am ready for the aftershow. See you guys there.

Tony: See you there. By, everybody. Catch you next week.
Alright, it’s time for the Patreon shoutouts. Starting with the Bloodshard Bandits. Somewhere in the cold winter mountains of North Drillis, Ulric Shielddusk continues to search for his golden blacksmith hammer. Deep within the mines, Ulric tries his luck with the help of the finest dwarven blacksmiths. After a night of merrymaking with old friends, he awakens hung over in an ice cave upside down and hanging by his feet. The sound of a yeti is heard from within the cavern. Julius Kendrick is covered in shrouds of darkness, protected by the Fel. he’s on the move, plotting revenge against the Bloodshard Bandits. No one knows if he is still in Raven’s Rest or not, but he is certainly plotting in one of his many hideouts. Without his old crew, lost to the blades of the Bloodshard bandits, he has no option but to raise an army of bones.
Raynes is making waves in the weather world as meteor-mage-ologist. Ever since he saved all those people from certain death, his rating have never been better. The downside is that his insurance has been raised due to negligence. May the rains bless down on Raynes’ coin purse.
Now it’s time for the Sigic[?] College alumni. Starting with Artemis, who is alert and stoic as he protects the alchemists of the Sigic College and his new good friend Kemi Jo. Although the culprits of closet vandalizers are still at large.
Robit Crisp the artificer is determined to make his next invention work. Right now, Robit is developing new tech that will allow for instant hot bread, and calling it a Crisper. Hopefully this invention won’t become toasted like the last one.
The barbarian Ralimus is making noise as the rock tour is firing up, and his band is getting major traction. His band Beholder is gaining more fanlings every day.
Benjamin Hayes is one of the newest Sigic College alumni, and an astute wizard at that. Benjamin is currently majoring in street magic. Come to class to learn or get educated.
Zane Chaos is also a new member of the Sigic College alumni, however a bit of a delinquent, just as his name may suggest. Zane Chaos is part of the Tinker’s Guild, which rivals the Alchemist Guild at the Sigic College.
And we have Humbreah’s Heroes. Alex Dread is back with his newest animated scroll called Night of the Living Dread 3. We’ve been dreading this one.
Man With Glass is currently appealing his recent court ruling, as the jury couldn’t come to a conclusion. Also, after new evidence brought forth by Man With Stone, the case has resulted in a mistrial.
Sergio, the wandering vagabond, has begun travels to new distant lands. His cloak bellows in the wind of adventure. But what is his quest?
Lastly, we have another new member, Angel. This ranger specializes in adorable companions, from lovable pit bulls to a horde of kittens. That's right, kittens. Cuteness can certainly kill, with their tiny precious claws and nibbles.
And that's it for this week’s shoutouts. If you’d like to be added to these shoutouts, why don’t you go over to our Patreon? That's patreon.com/DND404, to see how that is done. Until next time, everybody.

[END]